Legally Mom

One Michigan judge is taking the meaning of prospecive adoptive parents’ commitment to staying home with an adopted child to a whole new level, reports an article in the Kalamazoo News.

“Willis requires parents who adopt infants in his county to agree that one of them will be home with the baby during the first year and won’t work full time during the baby’s preschool years. Willis is perhaps the only justice in Michigan to require such a pledge, which he acknowledges is not legally binding and may be offensive and outdated to some,” the article reads.

“Willis’ wife has suggested he may be “old fashioned,” and the judge admits he’s had lots of complaints about the moral-commitment pledge. But he has no plans to change his stance,” the article continues.

“I have this awesome burden to speak for children,” Willis said. “It came with the job, and I am going to fulfill it as I see best so I can look at myself in the mirror in the morning.”

I’m all for finding the most supportive adoptive parents possible, but since when are working parents considered sub-par simply because they work? Is this “moral-commitment pledge” an imposition that unduly restricts prospective parents’ adoption rights and stalls the adoption process for otherwise qualified parents? What’s your take on the story?

Here’s my proud parenting moment of the month: I’m the proud mom of a Reader of the Month in the kindergarten class! (Let’s hope he doesn’t take after me in sneaking books — and a flashlight — under his blanket to keep reading after bedtime!)

May is National Foster Care Month!

Interested in information about foster parenting? Read my recent article in the June issue of Parents and Kids Magazine.

Last week, I spoke at the Creative Ways to Use Your Law Degree conference, which was wonderfully organized and put on by the Massachusetts Bar Association.

As is always the case with seminars at which I speak, I walked out having learned more than I expected–both from listening to the very insightful other presenters and from networking with peers (and other lawyers/parents striving to maintain work-life balance.)

Five important things I noted:

* Balance is what you make of it, and where you find it. It means different things to different people, so striving for YOUR definition of balance is YOUR best bet.

* A great idea + determination and diligence = the potential to create your own brand and your own mark in the legal profession.

* The law degree is truly one of the most versatile degrees one can have.

* Support is out there. One of the best ways to find it? Align yourself with potential mentors and others whom you admire, and seek out their advice.

* We (collectively) women lawyers (and I suspect, women in any profession) are still putting too many pressures on ourselves and on each other. Really, why worry about competitive preschool admissions requirements while still pregnant?

An article on MSN.com reports on a Texas mother who was allowed to harvest and keep her son’s sperm just before the son was taken off of life support.

The article reads, “Legal experts say that there have been cases where permission was granted to harvest sperm from others after their deaths, but none had involved a mother and her son.”

It goes on to say, “University of Texas law professor John Robertson, who specializes in bioethics, said state law gives parents control over a child’s body for organ and tissue donations but its use for sperm “is very unclear … There are no strong precedents in favor of a parent being able to request post-mortem sperm retrieval,” he said.”

An interesting advance, both in technological and legal terms. What is your take on the story?

She’s been around in little girls’ toy boxes for 50 years, but one state is trying to do Barbie in. As many legal blogs are reporting, a state legislator in West Virginia has introduced a bill that would make it illegal to sell Barbie dolls in the state.

The bill reads:

“ARTICLE 25. BARBIE DOLLS. §47-25-1. Unlawful sale of Barbie dolls. It shall be unlawful in the state to sell “Barbie” dolls and other similar dolls that promote or influence girls to place an undue importance on physical beauty to the detriment of their intellectual and emotional development.

NOTE: The purpose of this bill is to ban the sale of Barbie dolls and other similar dolls.”

Now, personally, I have a problem with the suggestion that placing importance on one’s physical beauty (or playing with dolls that do so) is detrimental to one’s emotional or intellectual development. Can’t all of that be important — in a healthy balance — at the same time?

What’s your take on the bill? Necessary to promote a healthy self-image among girls, or a waste of time and resources?

Thinking of my wondeful mother-in-law who adores being involved with my kids and watches them a couple of days a week while I teach, it’s hard for me to even imagine this–but MSN reports on a new trend: grandparents who are purposely largely uninvolved in their grandkids’ lives.

According to a New York Times article, some grandparents feel they have put in their time, preferring travel and leisure time to babysitting the grandkids.

“The term “glam-ma” was coined for youth-obsessed baby boomers who want to distance themselves from all things wrinkled,” the MSN article explains. “A recent article in The New York Times tipped us to a trend: uninvolved grandparents. One reason cited, among others, for this shift in focus is that “modern grandmothers, so-called glam-mas, ‘feel they’ve put in their time.’”

According to the New York Times article, some parenting websites are abuzz with comments by parents who feel miffed by their own parents’ reluctance to get down and dirty with the grandkids. Have you noticed this trend around you or been affected by it personally? In what ways are grandparents working to achieve a happy medium between being Gramma and Glam-ma?

For some parents, biological parenting isn’t what creates a family—rather, some families are created with the help of a surrogate parent, whether it’s due to medical issues or other reasons.

When it comes to surrogacy, “the end is as important as the beginning,” says Susan L. Crockin, Esq., Principal of the Crockin Law & Policy Group, LLC in Newton, who specializes in reproductive technology and adoption law. Parents have to understand that surrogate parenting is a new and still evolving area of the law, and it isn’t a foolproof area of family building, says Crockin. “It does carry with it some risk,” she says, and when looking at potential options for surrogacy, “the goal is to minimize those risks.”

Interested in learning more? Read the rest of my article in Parents & Kids Magazine’s March issue.

Whether you’re new to parenting or into parenting news, you can surely use to read and learn about — and become inspired — by some of the trends that other parents are following. Parents & Kids Editor Heather Kempskie and I explored some of those trends in a recent article about the parenting trends of 2009.

Which of those trends are you inspired to try? For me, becoming greener in the new year was a personal parenting resolution. (Although as I continue hunting for a full-time job and looking for child care, those “mommy mixers” sure sound like a good idea, too!)

March 8 is celebrated as International Women’s Day in many countries.

Working Mother Magazine notes in a recent article, “In some regions of the Middle East, women mark international Women’s Day (IWD) by showing their solidarity in a continuing struggle for basic civil rights. And in nations such as Australia, it’s a day to honor women’s achievements. It’s also a day to remind ourselves of future challenges, such as fighting the poverty and violence against women that prevail throughout the world.

Some global businesses now celebrate the holiday: Accenture, Cisco and Nortel have used IWD to launch their own women’s initiatives. “the day is a recognition of the incredible impact women make in our society,” says Laila Worrell, a senior executive in Accenture’s New York city office and mom of Caroline, 6, Lexa, 4, and Emma grace, 21 months. Last year, the global management consulting, technology services and outsourcing company observed the day in 26 countries with training seminars and workshops on workplace agility. ”

Interested in celebrating or starting your own women’s initiative? Consider the following resources:

The Official International Women’s Day 2009 Website

The United Nations’ page on IWD

UNIFEM.org