Legally Mom

According to a new study, men who have traditional attitudes about the role of women in society earn more than men who hold egalitarian views about women in the workplace. We’re not talking pennies, either. “The differences found in the study were substantial. Men with traditional attitudes about gender roles earned $11,930 more a year than men with egalitarian views and $14,404 more than women with traditional attitudes,” the article reads. “The comparisons were based on men and women working in the same kinds of jobs with the same levels of education and putting in the same number of hours per week.”

The authors of the study offer two possible explanations: “Traditional-minded men might negotiate much harder for better salaries, especially when compared with traditional-minded women. Alternatively, it could also be that employers discriminate against women and men who do not subscribe to traditional gender roles,” the article says.

What’s your take? Did the study surprise you?

Sarah Palin’s candidacy has put the spotlight yet again on the “working mom” v. “stay-at-home mom” debate.

An MSNBC article pegs it as a policy issue. “In an editorial in The Wall Street Journal, authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman argued that  more women are moving away from the notion of “having it all” and toward the idea of a work/life balance that allows them time for both,” the article reads. “The authors of a forthcoming book on the trend said Palin has hit a nerve “not because she’s a woman with children trying to do a man’s job. It’s because she’s actually pushing the combination of professional and personal ambitions beyond the sensibilities of this generation of working moms.”

Each time I read about the “Mommy Wars,” whatever story I’m reading seems to convey the same message: when it comes to balancing it all, the choices should be unique, made by each woman individually and on her terms, and then left alone. Yet despite that “live and let live” message, the debate between working and staying home can’t seem to die down.

And in fact, some of the data suggests that there isn’t much of a choice for women at all. I once wrote an article about de-bunking the “opt out” myth, where I suggested that women aren’t always opting out of work–they are leaving because they have no other choice! (Conversely, I hear often about women who complain that they have to work because they have no other choice.) The bottom line: for many women, this isn’t about options. Perhaps the focus should be on policy–policies, that is, which would make choices more readily apparent.

Happy Grandparents’ Day (it’s Sunday, 9/7) to all of those grandparents making a difference in children’s lives–and an especially heartfelt “Thank you,” “Happy GP Day,” and “We love you” to our wonderful Nonna Nancy and Nonno Tony, who are the best babysitters my kids could dream up.

For some grandparents, however, establishing and maintaining a relationship with their grandkids isn’t so easy. Check out my recent article about grandparents’ rights in Massachusetts. And if you are a grandparent in need of further resources to help you establish visitation rights, please visit the Grandparents’ Rights Organization.

Chase is off to kidergarten, and save for a few bumps in the road dealing with pick-ups and crazy schedules, we survived the first week unscathed.

P & K ran a great primer for the parents of kindergarteners in its last issue. Personally, I’d have to say the hardest part of getting used to a new school is dealing with a brand new schedule–not just for my son, but for all of us. It seems one person’s schedule changes can affect the whole family.

What are YOUR biggest back-to-school trials and tribulations?

The August issue of Parents & Kids Magazine reported on a new trend in Massachusetts which allows public schools to receive funding for an extended school day. Schools that participate offer additional activities to kids after school, making the school day longer and more productive.

Those who support the program cite the opportunities to participate in various activities; those who oppose it say it creates unnecessary additional stress on kids and makes family time and downtime even harder to come by. What’s your take on the new initiative?

My three boys have come up with the best game, which they collectively named Tickle-Wrestle (though the baby only got an absentee vote.) The game is exactly what it sounds like, and a lot of fun!

Peter Chianca’s recent (hilarious) Father-At-Large column in Parents & Kids made feel better: I’m not alone in the boys-playing-guns-and-swords-despite-daily-sensitivity-training department. It also made me question whether my boys are doomed to a childhood of simulated decapitations and impalements–thereby dooming me to a lifetime of watching me simulate destruction. When I was a child, I was perfectly happy to brush my Barbie’s hair for hours. These days, I ache to trade just one toy car for a Barbie doll.

Speaking of fun games, check out the Siblings Busy Book by P& K Editor Heather Kempskie and her sister Lisa Hansen.  Lots of great ideas for sibling fun!

Share your experiences here–what fun games have your kids invented?

Thanks to the Massachusetts Paralegal Association,  Williams Lea, and the law firm of Mintz Levin Cohn Ferris Glovsky and Popeo, P.C. for having me speak at their seminar about legal careers this afternoon. This was yet another great event put on by the MPA leadership.

I relished speaking in that gorgeous conference room (with an even more gorgeous view of the city!) today. Heading home, I thought of the event as “Starbucks for my career:” I felt energized; this event that I thought went so well gave me the boost I needed to feel rejuvenated and tackle my work when I headed back to the office. It reminded me to savor those small moments where I feel good about my career and what I’ve accomplished–and I urge all you other working parents to do the same! Whether it’s a quick email from the boss that praises your work or a slight increase in your sales numbers, take time to thank the career Gods for the small victories–and let them propel you to even greater career heights.

Catch me on TV–online!

I recently chatted with Parents & Kids Editor Heather Kempskie about sex offenders, education reform, and non-traditional families in Massachusetts. Just press “play” on the home page!

I also talked with Jay Cleary at Haverhill Community Television about alternative legal careers. Scroll down to “Law to Talk About” and press play!

An update on my work: I’m plugging away at my third and fourth books simultaneously.

“Law School Revealed” is a guide book for law students and those interested in law school. It will not only offer advice about surviving and thriving as a law student, but also provide information on some of the innovative ways law schools are reforming legal education–from clinical programs to advanced law degrees; from international study to internships; from better work-life balance initiatives to increased diversity. The book will be published by Jist Publishing next April.

“Trial Prep for Paralegals,” which I’m co-authoring with MSL Associate Dean Michael Coyne, will be a guide book for paralegals and other non-lawyers on effectively and efficiently assisting their attorneys in preparation for trial. The book will be published next year by the National Institute for Trial Advocacy.

My July Working Mother Magazine included an interesting letter to the editor. “We are Generation Y,” the writer said, “and we’ll take life, motherhood, and careers on our terms.”

The media has taken to reporting that Generation Y workers are more likely to ask for — and get — better work-life balance from their employers. “For these new 20-something workers, the line between work and home doesn’t really exist. They just want to spend their time in meaningful and useful ways, no matter where they are,” claims a recent article in Time Magazine. While other generations struggle to juggle responsibilities, Generation Y takes them all at once, blurring the lines between personal and professional responsibilities.

An interesting take. I’m not sure generational differences matter here, as work-life balance isn’t just about balancing work with parenting–it’s about anything, really, that the employee may deem important enough to include in his or her life, whether that be jogging for sanity or taking care of an aging parent. Plus, I’m not sure anyone can truly claim to be balanced. The phrase “work-life balance,” for that matter, conveys unrealistic expectations: it can make women feel like all parts of their lives must be under control, all the time.

In a recent conversation with work-life guru Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., Ellen told me something that I think is worth sharing: don’t measure work-life balance by the day, or even by the week, she said. Anyone’s life can become off-kilter in the matter of a week, as job/family/other responsibilities pop up. Instead, measure in the long run–are all parts of your life (YOU included!) taken care of?