Picket Fence Post

I had the pleasure last week of sitting next to Alice Domar, the keynote speaker at the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce’s Women’s Initiative dinner. (Note: One of the event sponsors was skirt! magazine, which is owned by the same company as P&K Magazine.) Domar, an internationally known expert on what’s called the mind-body connection, discussed the main themes of her new book, Be Happy Without Being Perfect, specifically on how and why women should let go of the illusion of perfection.

What struck me about Domar, wasn’t just that during dinner, she was a down-to-earth person who spoke with ease about how her tween-aged daughter was upset that Domar had to be out for the evening and about her exploits helping her daughter sell Girl Scout cookies outside a local grocery store. It was that what Domar said — both at the microphone and away from it – was real, didn’t seem rehearsed/polished (even though this is a person who toured with Oprah in 2004-2005 and regularly appears on national television) and indicated that she understands what it’s like to be a working parent circa 2008 during an “epidemic of stress” like the rest of us.

Among the notable moments from Domar’s address, designed to encourage women to stop obsessing about being perfect in every area of their lives, were:

– The top reason why women report experiencing more stress? Women “juggle more things” in a society that’s “still not set up for work-family balance,” she said.

– Domar said women put enormous pressure on themselves to appear to the world as if they’ve got everything goin’ on, all at the same time, killer body, flourishing career, a boatload of patience as they parent a perfect kid and a home even Bree Van de Kamp would covet: “How can we care for ourselves if we feel guilty that there are dishes in the sink?”

– She urged women to view pitch-perfect layouts in lifestyle magazines like Martha Stewart Living as the “fantasies” that they are and not to go crazy trying to emulate them. Domar pointed out that in order to achieve one particular Thanksgiving dinner featured in Stewart’s magazine, Stewart required an army of staffers. So if you try to do that on your own, with a staff of exactly one person, you’ll drive yourself crazy.

– It’s not selfish to “put yourself on your ‘To Do’ list,” Domar said, concluding with a motto worthy of being taped to the fridge, “If you have peace of mind, you have everything.”

Image credit: Amazon.com.