Picket Fence Post

A U.S. intelligence officer and terrorism expert with decades of experience, Gina M. Bennett, a mom of five, wants us to think of national security, terrorism and foreign policy issues in an entirely different way, from the perspective of a mother who’s raising her children.

Teach your children that, at the end of the day, telling the truth is always better than lying. Stand up to bullies and don’t allow them to define who you are. Pick up your own messes. Choose your friends wisely. Always try to understand why your child’s doing something obnoxious/irresponsible/insane/irrational so that you can try to figure out a way to try to stop or dissuade her from doing that in the future.

Bennett’s book, National Security Mom: Why ‘Going Soft’ Will Make America Strong, reminded me of that old Robert Fulghum book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Only its focus is on parenting and national security. Everything Bennett says she needed to know about that subject, she learned from her family.

Bennett recently fielded six questions from me about her book (published by the woman who published my book, FYI) and about national security and parents, as we prepare to go the polls and pick a new president in less than a month.

Meredith O’Brien, Picket Fence Post: Why did you write this book and for whom did you write it?

Gina Bennett, author of National Security Mom: After 20 years of countering terrorism from inside the covert world of the Intelligence Community, I came to realize that the most powerful weapon America can wield in this fight is the courage of the American people. For years, my colleagues and I have worked daily to collect intelligence, uncover plots, identify key leaders and figure out how to stop terrorists from carrying out their attacks. But no matter how hard we work, there will be times when terrorists will succeed in getting past our security efforts. But when that happens, it does not have to mean that America was defeated. As long as Americans stand united in the aftermath of such a tragedy and refuse to change because of it, the terrorists are the ones who will be defeated.

Terrorists don’t seek death and destruction alone. They want to use the horror of their attacks to shake our faith in our form of government. If we remain committed to our democratic principles and ideals, we rob them of their attempted victory over us and undermine their future influence. The men and women in government can’t do this alone. Every American is our partner, and I wrote this book to convey that message. I also wrote with parents, and especially mothers, in mind because I felt the national security debate was overwhelmingly dominated by “insider” jargon that left many parents feeling like outsiders. But you don’t have to understand all the intricacies of the intelligence, law enforcement and military efforts in countering terrorism to be an informed participant in the national security debate.

O’Brien: How did you come up with the idea of blending the notion of parenthood and national security?

Bennett: My life for the past 15 years has been a blending of the two. From the moment I brought my first son home from the hospital — in the middle of a blizzard only to have a drive-by shooting in my neighborhood leave bullet casings in my driveway - my two worlds of security-building have been one. At home, I have worked every day to secure my family’s health, welfare, happiness and faith. At work, I have tried to secure America by stopping terrorists.

Over time, I came to realize that what I was doing at work was only a small piece of securing America. When I thought more deeply about the ways in which I secure my family, I realized the “softer” or more tangible aspects of my family’s security were the more challenging ones to acquire. Ensuring my husband and I show love and respect to each other and our children through all the tough times, for example, is remembering to lock the doors at night. I believe our national security has a “softer” side too. It involves demonstrating commitment to America’s principles when challenged and when we are afraid. These more intangible aspects of security are just as important as building the world’s strongest military and most capable intelligence apparatus.

O’Brien: What do you hope parents will gain from reading analogies comparing terrorists to bullies who might pick on their children at school? From the notion that telling kids to clean up after themselves and tell the truth could also apply to our elected officials when it comes to national security?

Bennett: As a parent, I know not a day goes by when we do not find ourselves giving this sort of advice to our kids. We are always teaching and guiding them so they can stand on their own two feet someday. That is the essence of our job as parents . . . to grow our children into adults. So I drew on the advice we give our kids for my analogies to national security so that all parents could relate to them. By making that connection, I hoped to empower parents to feel more confident about engaging in today’s national security debate and about guiding our leaders. Ultimately, much of what we are teaching our children focuses on how to be good citizens and leaders. And the advice we give them is as good for America and America’s leaders as it is for our kids. So, parents already really do know what they need to know to participate in the national security debate.

O’Brien: What’s the single biggest problem our country faces when it comes to issues of national security right now?

Bennett: We face a persistent terrorist challenge from al-Qa’ida and groups like it. We face the danger that instability in countries like Pakistan may threaten U.S. national interests. We face the long-term uncertainties of the current economic crisis. And we must accept that America’s ability to project its influence abroad has been eroded by the current skepticism felt by many populations about America’s values. But despite all these problems, I still believe the biggest challenge we face is overcoming fear.

In some ways, America is like a teenager ready to face the world and show them what we’ve got. We believe we can solve problems that others have not been able to. Like those over-confident teenagers of ours, we don’t want to listen to those who have tried and failed before us. We believe we are invincible. But like teenagers, sometimes this audacity merely masks our insecurity and fear. America doesn’t want to be proven wrong. America doesn’t want to appear vulnerable. The terrorist attacks on September 11 left us feeling vulnerable as a nation, and we have found it difficult coping with that. As a nation, we want to believe that it won’t happen again, but we fear that it might.

Our teenagers eventually will learn that they don’t know it all and that it takes tremendous courage and wisdom to admit that. They will find that fear is part of life, but you can’t let it dominate your decision-making. It takes a lot more courage to show your commitment to your principles when you are afraid than when you are certain no one will challenge you.

O’Brien: Is there a way to combine the “soft” side of motherhood with the hard edge required for foreign policy?

Bennett: Absolutely! Foreign policy does not have to be solely about furthering our national interests even at the expense of others. It doesn’t have to be about flexing our muscles and projecting military might. In fact, much of U.S. diplomacy traditionally has been all about the “maternal side” — the sharing of American ingenuity and generosity with others around the world less fortunate than us. The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), for example, is always one of the first organizations at the scene of any natural disaster around the globe. USAID sponsors an unbelievable array of projects that help families living in the most desperate situations. Those projects are exactly how to leverage the power of the “soft side” in U.S. foreign policy.

Necessity may be the motherhood of invention, but I’ve always thought that motherhood is the inventor of necessity. Moms in America know what it takes to care for their children and their families. Families around the world need the same things we do. More and more women are establishing and working with charitable organizations that seek to help women, children and families around the world. Whenever mothers can reach across borders and help each other like that, then the “soft side of motherhood” is literally leading our national security and foreign policy.

O’Brien: What one piece of advice from National Security Mom would you give when it comes to the current state of national affairs?

Bennett: Be engaged and don’t give up hope. Every time you send a letter to your local officials or congressmen; every time you sign a petition when someone knocks on your door or answer a phone survey; every time you go to the PTA debate about the school board’s budget, you are engaging in your nation’s security. Individually, they may seem like small actions, but collectively and over time, they are more powerful than anything we can do in Washington alone. Only the engagement of the people can help those in office prioritize our domestic, foreign and national security priorities. America needs its people. And the world really does need America.