Picket Fence Post

Going into the last weekend before Christmas I know I need some major laughs, especially when I think about the To Do list:

– Gotta bake Christmas cookies. The Spouse thinks he has time to make two cheesecakes too. (*snicker*)

– Will face a pediatric insurrection if either I or The Spouse don’t again attempt to supervise the Picket Fence Post kids in building a gingerbread house (from a box with pre-baked pieces). When I tried to supervise this enterprise one night after dinner this week when The Spouse was out, I wound up sending the three kids to bed instead and putting the gingerbread house stuff away while I raged around the kitchen because they wouldn’t stop fighting.

– Need to clean the house.  (We’ve got people coming over.)

– Must bring the children to three sporting events, two basketball games and a hockey scrimmage.

– Attend a Hanukkah event to which we were supposed to bring a gift for a Yankee Swap. (Hate them!) I had no time to get a gift — despite the fact that I feel as though I now live at Target but I kept forgetting to get something for it – so I’m hoping The Spouse has this one covered, or else we’re going to have to grab some random item from the house and wrap it up.

– Bring the kids to church early on Sunday so they can get ready to appear in the Nativity play, where The Spouse is one of the parental supervisors. The kids are playing Innkeeper #2, Innkeeper #3 and a donkey.

– Between now and Thursday we need to finish the Christmas shopping. Or should I say The Spouse has to finish it (still some outstanding items left on his list), which is why I’m skeptical about the two cheesecake item. Or whether getting the last few gifts will even fit into the weekend.

– Wrap presents, though I suppose this can wait until later in the week despite the fact that not a single gift has been wrapped yet.

Busy weekend in the ‘burbs, eh? Really bustling . . . kind of like the type of weekend satirized by comedian Sally Brooks in her new uber-profanity-laced rap, “Weekend Rap.” Several months ago I posted her original “Suburban Housewife” rap here as a Friday Funny. (”. . .  put it in a cup, it looks like iced tea“)

Go to her web site and spend four minutes and change wathcing her “Weekend Rap” (but not with any kids or boss/supervisor types around) if you want to laugh about how suburban parental weekends usually feature trips to Target and Costco, soccer games where parents yell at the refs, visits from in-laws who criticize your lack of housekeeping, doing yard work, attending potluck neighborhood gatherings featuring organic meat which end at 9 so the kids can get to bed on time.