Picket Fence Post

Item #1: The Chew Monster (Otherwise Known as the Puppy)

Max, our mini-Wheat puppy, is smack dab in the middle of a rather nasty chewing phase and has been grabbing at anything within his reach and shredding it. Anything. Lego pieces. Pencils. Trash. Tissue boxes. Magazines. Soda cans. Shoes. You get the picture. Combine Max’s propensity for gnawing with the Picket Fence Post kids’ tendency to leave items lying haphazardly around the house and you’ve got the ingredients for my latest GateHouse News Service column.

Item #2: Co-Ed Sleepovers . . . Are They Nuts?

When I saw a Tweet this week from a Boston-based Fox TV journalist promoting her segment about teen co-ed slumber parties, she asked people thought about the notion. My immediate response was decidedly thumbs down. Putting hormonal kids together, with soft bedding, in the dark where parents will be absent for long stretches of time including in the middle of the night and a developmental lack of impulse control (plus teens’ brains aren’t fully developed) is patently crazy. Then I watched Sara Underwood’s piece on local TV and it only confirmed my initial thoughts. Please, tell me what you think about this trend.

Item #3: Pajama Diaries

So. Very. True.

Item #4: Modern ‘Like’ Family

Freshman ABC comedy Modern Family was unbelievably fabulous this week. It provided me with ample laughs just when I needed them. (You can watch the latest episode “Fears” for free at the ABC web site.) But the part that really had me rolling — aside from seeing the adorable Manny in his classic fisherman’s cap (I just want to hug that little guy) – was the scene where Claire Dunphy was driving her teenaged Haley and her friend around and could not, not for one more second, tolerate listening to her daughter continually and nonsensically invoke the word “like.”

Here’s what Haley said to her friend: “And then I’m like, ‘There’s no way I’m wearing that.’ And she was like, ‘Well if you don’t wear it then you can’t play.’ And then I was like, ‘Well, that’s fine by me.’ And then she was like . . .”

By this time, Claire, who’d been rolling her eyes as she listened to this, snarkily said the word “like” over her daughter’s conversation four times until her daughter objected. “Stop saying, ‘like!’” Claire shouted.

“Don’t embarass me!” the daughter shouted back.

“Ahhhhhh!” Claire shrieked as she gripped the steering wheel and violently shook her head.

This exact scenario – with slightly different wording and sans the guttural yell – occurred between my mother and me while she was driving me and a friend around when I was but a teenaged gal. I have a vivid memory of having what I saw as a perfectly pleasant conversation with my friend only to have my mother, seemingly out of nowhere, shout, “Meredith! Stop saying, ‘like!’”

I’m busily trying to stomp that tendency out of my own children before they become teens. I’m tryin’.

Image credit: Pajama Diaries via the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

Item #1: Obama’s Sweet Parental Leave Policy

While most parents I know who try to simultaneously work and raise kids — or juggle the needs of multiple kids at the same time — struggle to make an appearance at every kid-centric event their children have, I found myself feeling envious of President Obama’s ability to put everything aside, including budget talks and national security, in order to attend one of his kids’ events.

In a recent New York Times piece entitled, “He Breaks for Band Recitals,” a senior advisor to the president told the paper: “There are certain things that are sacrosanct on his schedule — the kids’ recitals, soccer games, basketball games, school meetings. These are circled in red on his calendar, and regardless of what’s going on he’s going to make those. I think that’s part of how he sustains himself through all this.”

I think I need a presidential advisor handling my schedule.

Item#2: Seinfeld on the Poison ‘P’s’

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, the father of three kids (ages 4, 6 and 9) told Parade Magazine recently that he’s figured out what’s wrong with today’s kids, something he calls, “The Poison P’s.”

Praise: “We tell our kids, ‘Great job!’ too much.”

Problem-solving: “We refuse to let our children have problems. Problem-solving is the most important skill to develop for success in life, and we for some reason can’t stand it if our kids have a situation that they need to ‘fix.’ Let them struggle. It’s a gift.”

Pleasure: As in, “giving your child too much pleasure.” Seinfeld said that because parents believe that today’s children aren’t as innocent as we used to be when we were young, “We feel so guilty for destroying that innocence — which is what we did — so we’re now trying to repair that by creating perfect childhoods for our children.”

Betcha his kids would reply with a nice, “Yadda, yadda, yadda.”

Item #3: Bullies in the Bull’s-Eye

Remember that horrific story a few weeks ago about the bullies in the Massachusetts town of South Hadley, who, according to news reports, drove a 15-year-old girl to commit suicide? Well the school superintendent has announced that the students involved in harassing the girl have faced disciplinary action and may also face criminal charges, according to Fox and the Boston Herald.  

In the meantime, the issue of students harassing other students in school to the point where the victims are fearful and can’t focus on their lessons, has become a hot button issue. Even Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick who, while relating his own personal experience with being the victim of harassment from fellow students when he was a child, said that harassers should be held accountable.

“Whatever we can do to create a safe environment for kids, that’s what we should do,” Patrick said, according to the Boston Herald. “If we can give teachers and administrators some extra tools, we should do that, and do it swiftly . . . Parents have to take responsibility, especially ones who are themselves parents of bullies. There is nothing in the [pending anti-bullying legislation] that absolves adults from their responsibility to teach kids how to behave respectfully.”

He said he was contacted by a 9-year-old boy from a Massachusetts school who needed help in dealing with kids harassing him and when Patrick met with the boy, the child appeared frightened. The governor said he went on the school’s intercom and told the students that there was to be no bullying at the school and that if there was, he’d have to return and deal with it personally.

Item #4: Trending Toward More Chores? I’m Skeptical.

On Valentine’s Day, the Boston Globe ran a story which claimed that a “modern trend” has been evolving where today’s parents are making their kids do more chores, like we all used to do back in the day, otherwise known as the Stone Age. Citing research from a Wellesley College sociology professor, the article said that parents have been “reasserting” the importance of chores in the past 15 years.

I don’t buy it. Not that we here in the Picket Fence Post household don’t make our children do chores — we do — it’s just that I find it hard to believe that many other parents are doing the same thing. I’d be shocked if even half of today’s kids have to do regular chores.

What do you think? How prevalent do you think chores are today?

Image credit: Kevin Lamarque/Reuters via the NYT.

Item #1: Banning Kids’ Photos on Christmas Cards

Who amongst you, my dear readers, has sent out Christmas/Hanukkah cards with images of your kids on it? I’d venture to guess that if you have any children who are of grade school age, 99 percent of our holiday cards included some form of a photo of said kiddos.

After looking over the array of holiday greetings that  have been delivered to the Picket Fence Post family’s home, I couldn’t find a single one from a family with young kids that didn’t include a photo of said cherubs.

The Picket Fence Post’s family Christmas/Hanukkah card included photos of the kids and our dog Max, however they prominently featured anti-perfectionist snark. I included an image of the pillow fight the kids had in the middle of our disastrous Christmas photo session which was marked by tears, puffy red eyes (from the crying) and arguments over the fact that I was supposedly “torturing” my children with a cruel and unusual punishment of having the nerve of asking them to put on some nice duds and sit still on the sofa. They might as well have called it Gitmo-New England the way they were acting.

Anyway . . .  a former college newspaper colleague of mine at the Boston Globe penned a sarcastically funny column this week decrying the flood of generic, processed photocards with the “grinning moppets” on them that he’d been receiving, the kind you get from Shutterfly and the like (Full Disclosure: I got mine from Snapfish):

“I know this may come across as mildly offensive, but I am asking as nicely as possible: Please keep your kids off my Christmas cards . . .

Simply put, it’s a Christmas card, not an advertisement for your blissful existence. If I’m interested in seeing your children, your vacations or your dog dressed as an elf, I’ll look at your Facebook page, thank you very much.

. . . Before you paint me as a total ogre (I only admit to being half-ogre, on my mother’s side), let me say if you’d like to send a photo of your family inside an actual greeting card, along with a quick handwritten message, I’d be very happy.”

What do you think of the nearly unanimous use of photocards among families with young children? Do you think they should have something handwritten on them?

Item#2: Fluff-Eating Pup

I was on a tight deadline and was thisclose to completing a column. I needed some quiet and some major physical distance put between me and the three bickering kids, who’d still managed to maintain their near-constant arguements as they were cozily set up in the family room for their TV hour, though these days the definition of the word “hour” is more concept than reality.

“Please watch Max, I need to go upstairs to finish this column,” I said, referring to our now-7-month-old puppy who’ll still chew stuff up if he’s not watched carefully. Just this week, he’s killed a couple of Star Wars figures, gnawed on slippers and socks left within his reach, and has pulled kids’ backbacks off of kitchen chairs to root around for stuff inside.

The children all acknowledged that they’d heard me and acted as though they had it all under control, with Max curled up next to The Girl on the sofa.

About a half-hour later, The Spouse came home and I could hear his shouting from my upstairs bedroom to which I’d retreated with my laptop: ”What happened here? Argh!” Max had somehow eluded the TV-addicted children’s supervision, walked over to the pantry (which was open but I don’t know why) and found our big plastic tub of Marshmallow Fluff lying on the floor, its cover, as always, only partially snapped down. Then he’d proceeded to gorge on Fluff.

The Spouse came upstairs a few minutes later to inform me of the goings-on while I tapped away at the keyboard. “I don’t even want to see what he looks like,” I said. When I returned to the kitchen, I learned that The Girl decided it’d be easier to cut off clumps of the pup’s hair around his mouth covered with the sticky substance. Oy.

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Item #1: Get Your Christmas Specials & Movies Schedule Here

The web site TV Tango has helpfully compiled a comprehensive list of the Christmas movies and specials slated to air on TV. So get your DVRs ready and/or mark your calendars and prepare to settle in for a family Christmas extravaganza or two.

Item #2: What’s Your Favorite Christmas Movie/Special?

Speaking of favorite holiday movies and specials . . . my December GateHouse News Service column challenges readers to think about your favorite Christmas movie and/or special and what your selection says about you. My favorite flick — aside from the awesome, four-hanky It’s a Wonderful Life — is now Elf. Want to know why? Read the column here.

Item #3: ‘Rudolph’ Doll Had ‘Psychological’ Issues

Ever wonder why the rag doll in the 1964 Christmas classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was an inhabitant of the Island of Misfit Toys when nothing was visibly wrong with her, other than her lack of a nose?

Well the local CBS affiliate in the Boston area was on the case and asked one of the show’s original producers who told the TV station that the doll has “psychological issues.”

I kid you not.

Item #4: Are You a Twimom?

My editor at Mommy Tracked assigned me the task of going to see the latest Twilight movie, New Moon, and to write a column about why moms my age are so into this vampire series. Seeing as though I was a Twi-newbie (and a major Twilight skeptic, even though my daughter’s addicted), I Netflixed the first film, then went to see New Moon.

But after seeing both films based on the first two of the four-book series, I didn’t feel as though I had enough information to answer the question, so I read the hundreds of pages of New Moon . . . which prompted me to re-read Romeo and Juliet because there were a ton of references to it in the book.

The end result? My column on why I think I now understand why thirty- and fortysomething moms are obsessed with the Twilight series. An excerpt:

“. . . [T]he Twimoms can recall with fondness those days of being adored by an infatuated boy who sees nothing in his world but you. Their days now filled with ferrying children around, work, all things domestic, and something as quaint as a love life that seems as though it’s been put on the backburner, moms can recall the days when romantic love was everything by pouring through the thousands of pages of Twilight books and hours of feature films, like they’re taking a little vacation, albeit with those pesky, bloodsucking vampires and irritating werewolves.”

TWO QUESTIONS FOR READERS: What’s your favorite Christmas movie/special? And, do you get the whole Twilight infatuation thing? I’d love to read your answers.

Image credit: Summit Entertainment via GateHouse News Service.

Item #1: Mad Men Concludes Third Season

Sunday nights are going to seem so dull without those Mad Men characters to entertain and intrigue me. The third season of AMC’s super-cool 1960s drama came to an end last Sunday, capped by one of the best season finales I’ve seen, including a series of intense and poignant scenes among the members of the Draper family. (See my review of the finale here.)

When the season began, Don and Betty had just reunited after she’d kicked him out for his philandering. (Betty only let Don return home because she learned she was pregnant with baby number three.) After one of the most harrowing depictions of childbirth I’ve seen on TV, Betty and Don enjoyed a brief period of emotional connection, topped by a sexy jaunt to Rome as Betty accompanied Don on a business trip. However as soon as they got home, their romantic bubble burst. By the end of the season, Betty learned that her husband had been living under a fake identity, had lied to her about his background and she decided she no longer loved him. After having been pursued by a divorced political aide to the governor who hit on her when he saw a pregnant Betty at a social event, Betty decided to divorce Don in order to marry this other guy who she barely knows.

One of the most heart-wrenching moments of the season came in the finale, when Betty and Don sat their grade school aged children down to tell them that Don was moving out of the house. The little boy clung to his father — literally wrapped his limbs around his dad’s body — while the older, wiser daughter asked her mother if Betty was responsible for driving him away like the last time. Divorce, when children are involved, is messy. When the Drapers are involved, I’ll bet things’ll be extra messy. Next season, we’ll likely see the impact of a divorce on young children, up close and personal. The last TV shows which dramatized this in any real way, without sugarcoating it, were the second season of HBO’s In Treatment and the canceled Sela Ward drama Once and Again.

Item #2: Balloon Boy’s Parents Plead Guilty

The parents of the infamous Balloon Boy, the ones who perpetrated the hoax on the country – telling authorities, while the mother wept into the phone to the 9-1-1 operator, that their young son was on board a runaway helium balloon floating helplessly over Colorado skies — have pleaded guilty to various complaints, according to the Associated Press.

Richard Heene pleaded guilty to the felony charge of “knowingly and falsely influencing the sheriff,” AP reported, while Mayumi Heene pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge of filing a false report to emergency services. A judge will sentence them on Dec. 23.

‘Nuf said.

Item #3: Christmas Card Photos

I’ve been trying to tackle the whole Christmas card photo business — because who, in this day and age, DOESN’T include a photo of the kids in their Christmas cards – in bits and pieces, particularly because we’re hoping to use a photo(s) of the kids AND the Picket Fence Post puppy, Max.

Every year it’s almost as if I wipe from my mind the fact that it’s a nightmare to take a good photo for the family Christmas card. Throw an unpredictable puppy into the mix and I realize that I’ve got my work cut out for me. I already had one photo session with Max, trying to get some good shots of him and realize I’m going to need a lot of “holiday cheer” in order to get a halfway decent snapshot.

Item #4: What the ‘Meep?’

From the everyone’s-gone-nuts files, the principal of a Massachusetts high school has forbidden students from using the word, “meep.” No lie. You say, “meep,” and you could get suspended. School officials said that students had been using the word in a disruptive way and wouldn’t cease and desist.

Seriously, is this really the best way to go? What if students then move on to another word, like, oh, I don’t know, “leap” or “pear” or “deet?” Last time I checked, there were quite a number of single-syllable words out there that students could adopt and utilize in an annoying fashion. My kids can make the word, “mom” sound horrifically irritating. Is the principal going to ban all of the one-syllable words? Instead of banning a silly word like “meep,” why not just discipline students for bad behavior?

Image credit: Carin Baer/AMC.

 Item #1: ‘Screaming is the New Spanking’

A feature story telling readers that parents yell at their kids is akin to a story that says there will be a sunrise tomorrow morning. Unless you know only mellow,uncaffeinated, really Zen-like folk, you, or someone you know, has yelled at a kid. It’s not like this is a new trend, this shouting at irrational small people who like to push their parents’ buttons and nag you until your ears bleed. However the New York Times’ Style section ran a feature story this week which asserted that “screaming is the new spanking.”

As author Hilary Stout outlined how spanking has fallen out of favor (or is only done in super-top-secret for fear of ostracizing), she suggested that today’s parents have simply replaced spanking with shouting. “. . . [W]ith regularity, this is a generation that yells.” [Emphasis was NOT added by me. It was in the paper that way.]

Stout quoted a parenting coach as saying:

“This is so the issue right now. As parents understand that it’s not socially acceptable to spank children, they are at a loss for what they can do. They resort to reminding, nagging, timeout, counting 1-2-3 and quickly realize that those strategies don’t work to change behavior. In the absence of tools that really work, they feel frustrated and angry and raise their voice. They feel guilty afterward, and the whole cycle begins again.”

Do you think that GenXers yell at their kids more than parents did in the past? (I vote, “No.”)

Item #2: Pop Warner Scuffle

Speaking of screaming . . .

Did you get a load of the story this week about a Massachusetts dad who got peeved that his son’s Pop Warner football coach told the man’s 12-year-old son to run laps because the father had brought him to practice 10 minutes late? The dad started allegedly shouting a few things to the coach about his weight from the sidelines, according to news reports, at which point the coach allegedly suggested they meet in a secluded spot, where, police say the coach beat the father up. The dad wound up with a busted eye socket and other injuries and the coach was busted for assault.

What crossed my mind when I read this story? Putting aside the alleged taking of verbal pot shots — which the dad should NOT have done — and the alleged actual assault which, obviously, shouldn’t have happened either, it seems to me that some people take youth sports too seriously. This is sports for kids. Children.

I’ve had a kid who was on a sports team where the coach said he wanted to teach parents a lesson by making their kids run laps if the parents brought the kids late to practices. The kids aren’t in control of getting themselves to practice at this age, therefore I don’t think they should be held responsible for something that’s beyond their control.

When my kid told me about this new behavior modification technique by the coach, I responded by telling my child that I have three kids who all play sports, my own work obligations and a ton of other responsibilities outside of my kids’ recreational activities which The Spouse and I fund. I do the best that I can to get everyone where he or she needs to go on time. If you’re 10 minutes late for practice because I accidentally ran late, so be it. Running’s good for you.

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Item #1: Triumphant Working Mom Tale

I’m a huge fan of the talk show Morning Joe on MSNBC (6-9 a.m. weekdays), chiefly because I like the easy rapport and smart, witty banter between the co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski. (My three kids now know the hosts by name and have been known to pause while eating their breakfast cereal to ask, “What is Joe TALKING about?”)

Despite having been a regular viewer of this show for a little more than a year, I didn’t know that Brzezinski had been let go by CBS in 2005 when she was 39 (when she learned “coincidentally” that one of the network higher ups didn’t think she was attractive enough, though she says that she doesn’t think that’s why she was fired). The mom of two went into a deep funk, wound up taking a job which paid a fraction of her original salary at CBS and . . . now she’s a successful TV host. Her interview with More Magazine in the October issue – which has the awesome Sela Ward on the cover — is worth reading if only to learn her philosophy about trying to succeed at your job and raise a family at the same time. “I’d rather spend one good hour with my kids a day than eight bad ones,” she said.

Item #2: Hollywood Babies After 40

 In that same issue of More Magazine, there was a feature about 10 celebs who have given birth to their first child after the age of 40, a trend which seems to be gaining traction in Hollywood. “The birthrate for women ages 40 to 44 has more than doubled in the past 25 years, and Hollywood is no exception to the trend,” More reported. Among those on the list: Holly Hunter who had twins at age 47, Mariska Hargitay who had her first son at age 42 and Marcia Cross who also had twins at 45.

Item #3: Welcome Home Daddy

One of the things about which members of the media were excited when a president with young children moved into the White House were photos like the ones taken recently of 8-year-old Sasha Obama, who was so excited that her dad, the president, had arrived home from a business trip that she ran to him and leapt into his arms. The same thing happens in my household when The Spouse gets home and our 8-year-old son launches himself into The Spouse’s arms, thrilled . . . only there’s no White House press corps to document it. Just me.

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Item #1: The Max Factor

I cannot shake the feeling that I’ve time traveled back to 2002, when my youngest child was still a baby and wouldn’t allow The Spouse and I to sleep through the night. For three years this went on, unless we let him sleep in bed with us. Those sleepless years — with the pint-sized bed hog nestled in between us, randomly flailing about – made an impact on The Spouse and I. That was a dark, sleepless period of time.

So when our 3-month-old puppy Max decided that for all but one night since he’s been in the Picket Fence Post home that he’d be bound and determined to howl and bark after we went to bed, it’s as if we’ve zoomed back to those sleep deprived years when The Spouse and I would crankily argue at 3 in the morning over the best plan of action.

With Max, after five nights of The Spouse or I sleeping on the sofa next to his crate, we finally decided to leave him in his crate in our family room (not in our bedroom as I suggested, with the sole goal of getting some shut-eye) and the canine’s been none too happy about it. Two nights ago, The Spouse and Max had a stand off that went on from 2-3 a.m. The Spouse took him outside twice during that time only to have little, fluffy, extremely cute Max bark the minute The Spouse returned to our bedroom.

Juan Valdez is so psyched that our life is currently being run by a nocturnal six-pound loud mouth. It’s good for business.

Item #2: ‘Outside Ye Maniacs’

I don’t understand. I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.

Why won’t the Picket Fence Post children go outside and play — and do whatever their little minds imagine — without making me threaten them with hours upon hours of brain-deadening housecleaning chores, like scrubbing the kitchen floor? (Kidding. Sort of.)

We’ve had two weeks of fairly good weather and, on the nice days, it’s been a struggle to get the kids to frolic in the out of doors. Much to my chagrin, my oldest children have figured out how to exploit my love of reading to try to get out of going outside by saying, “But I’m reading!” Which, of course, is a good thing, right?

Today I struck a compromise. “Go outside and read under the shade of a tree,” I said.

“Are you gonna MAKE us go outside?” the Youngest Boy asked, after saying he wasn’t interested in reading, inside or outside.

Seeing that he was clutching a Star Wars figure in his hand, I used that to my advantage. “You can get more action figures and bring them OUTSIDE and play with them.”

Item #3: Coveting Your Kid’s Life

Do you covet your kid’s life? A Details Magazine writer, in a piece on Yahoo’s SHINE, thinks that today’s kids have it way easier than their parents did. (Isn’t that what every generation thinks?) An excerpt of the snarky, tongue-in-cheek piece:

“. . . [L]et’s be honest, there’s plenty to begrudge. Not only do your kids have a far sweeter set up than you had growing up — in the days when Atari ruled and easily accessible porn meant your sister’s Judy Blume collection — but they also have it better than you do now . . . Your kids have multi-player online games and time to play them . . . Junior — God bless him — keeps getting smarter and savvier; he’s effortlessly cool and young while you struggle to hang on, wincing from an Achilles tendon strained when playing H-O-R-S-E and fighting the urge to sing along with ‘I Kissed a Girl’ in your Passat wagon.”

Does he have a point or is he just whining (kind of like I am in Item #1)?

Item #4: ‘Mad Men’s’ Award Winning Mommy

Actually, I jest when I use the phrase “award winning mommy,” because there are no mothers of the year on Mad Men.

Betty Draper, surficially the woman who has everything — beautiful home in the suburbs, nice clothing, two kids and a hot husband who makes a good living and buys her jewelry – was last seen at the end of season two, pregnant with her third child. But Betty Draper, my friends, is certainly no role model. She chastises her daughter about the hazards of a girl getting “stout,” urges her husband Don to beat on their youngest son Bobby after he misbehaves, and sometimes gets so loaded that she can’t take care of the kids and leaves it up to the nanny/housekeeper.

The Dyna Moe image above is from the first season when Betty found her daughter Sally playing “spaceman” and wearing the plastic dry cleaning bag over her head. Instead of telling Sally to take it off because she could suffocate, Betty says her dry cleaning better not be found lying all over the floor.

Catch Betty’s latest maternal escapades in the third season Mad Men Sunday nights on AMC.

Image credit: Dyna Moe.

Item #1: Meet Max

After nearly seven hours of driving to a dog shelter in New York State and back, the Picket Fence Post family now has a new member: A three-month-old wheaten terrier/Havanese puppy whom we named Max. (At least we think he’s a wheaten terrier/Havanese. That’s what we were told by the shelter folks, though his paperwork mentioned something about a Skye terrier. . . )

Max didn’t sleep well in his crate last night, even though I quasi-slept on the sofa near him. The scared little thing whined intermittently, reminding me of a baby awakening and crying during the night. After dusting off our baby gates and using caffeine this morning like a controlled substance, I feel as though I’m returning to my “new mom” days. A column on our search for Max is in the works.

Item #2: Papi Letdown

I was out on the road all day yesterday with the Picket Fence Post family getting Max, so I didn’t catch up on the heart-rending news regarding Big Papi until late yesterday and then read full coverage in the newspapers this morning. (Reading newspapers, on dead trees, how old school.) Hearing that David Ortiz in 2003 tested positive for performance enhancing drugs felt like someone had taken away Christmas, especially because of how it endangers the perspective on the special, glittering gem of a 2004 season. It’s a gut-level disappointment for someone like myself who hopes and wishes that seemingly good, decent guys like Ortiz wouldn’t and don’t mess around with such things. This, according to the Boston Globe’s Bob Ryan, makes me “terminally naive.” However I think it’s one thing for a show-off of a guy like Manny to test positive, quite another for the quiet, affable Papi.

Item #3: Pot-Dealing Mom on ‘Weeds’

Over on Mommy Track’d, I wrote about my recent Weeds-a-thon, where I OD’d (pardon the pun) on the Showtime comedy/drama about the widowed, pot-dealing soccer mom who used to peddle her wares to fellow suburbanites in order to provide for her kids. However after watching the Nancy Botwin character evolve over several seasons — in a recent episode she gave birth to the baby of a Mexican drug lord — I wasn’t thrilled by the transformation. Despite all this, the show continues to be riveting.

Item #4: Potter is the New Skywalker

In my latest GateHouse News Service column, I make the argument that, for kids today, the Harry Potter series is to them what the Star Wars series was to us in the days when Star Wars was merely a trilogy and not a six-pack. I also think that, as heroes go, Potter is better than Skywalker, writing, “. . . [U]nlike Luke Skywalker, who had the tendency to whine and be gratingly self-absorbed, Potter suffers and doesn’t whine, which sets my kids’ favorite childhood character several notches above the one I admired as a kid.”

Item #1: Amy Poehler’s Parenting Tips

Amy Poehler claimed a special place in my heart last fall when, while precariously close to the due date for her first child, she ferociously performed the infamous, wickedly funny ”Palin Rap” on Saturday Night Live. Now, soon after having given birth to her son, she’s back on the air with her new NBC sitcom, Parks & Recreation, to which I’m going to give some latitude because I think it’ll develop into something good. (At least that’s what I’m hoping. Got fingers crossed.)

Meanwhile the folks over at the Daily Beast  landed an interview with the new funny mom and asked her for favorite pieces of parenting advice. Among them:

– Always remember your kid’s name.

– Always remember where you put your kid.

– Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals.

That’s the kind of parenting advice I can really appreciate.

Item #2: Lost’s Bad Dads

If you’re a fan of the deliciously densely written, symbol-laden show Lost – I’m an addict, I admit it — you couldn’t help but notice that this week’s installment only advanced the argument that almost every character who goes to (or crashes on) that mysterious island has some sort of serious father issue with which to contend/overcome/make peace with, etc. (Wrote about it briefly on my Suburban Mom blog.)

There’ve been dads on this show who’ve ranged from physically and verbally abusive to outright homicidal toward their offspring, who’ve killed their children’s mothers, who’ve been dangerous alcoholics (including one who wielded a surgeon’s scalpel in the operating room while under the influence), who’ve abandoned their families and who’ve been emotionally absent. Now that their children have grown up to be damaged adults, they find themselves on this creepy, haunted island. (The web site Jezebel did a fine job of analyzing the multitude of Lost’s “daddy issues.”)

So, a word of warning to dads: Better be good to your kids or else they’ll grow up to be writers on a show like Lost and depict fathers as the root of all evil. I’m just sayin’ . . .

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