Picket Fence Post

Item #1: Forgetful Mamas

It’s not even the insanely busy spring yet — the time when we’re overloaded with school projects, school events, national holidays, Little League & spring soccer games/practices — and I’ve still been forgetting stuff like sending my kid to school with lunch money, birthday parties, etc. So, when I was trying to get the Picket Fence Post family’s schedule into some semblance of order last week, I felt a bit better about my slacker-ness when I witnessed moms on TV shows being overwhelmed and forgetful too.

I dedicated my Mommy Tracked column this week to this topic, saying that:, “. . . [T]he depiction of two fictional moms on TV this past week screwing up in big ways when it came to their family’s schedules made me realize that, if moms feeling overwhelmed by the weird administrative complexity of contemporary child-rearing is now a punch line on TV shows, I can’t be the only one who’s feeling burned out.”

At least I haven’t forgotten my kids’ birthdays. Yet.

Do you find yourself forgetting stuff, repeatedly, despite your best efforts to get organized?

Item #2: Dysfunctional TV Families

I’ve been going on and on about how much I adore the ABC comedy Modern Family and how much hope I have for NBC’s brand, spankin’ new dramedy Parenthood. Well, the Boston Globe’s Don Aucoin mentioned those two shows when he wrote about a trend in family-centric TV shows as of late: A lack of parental authority.

In his piece, “Dysfunction Junction: Who’s the boss? TV parents these days are often as adolescent as their children,” he asserted that today’s TV parents aren’t as stable and authoritative as TV parents of years past, like on The Cosby Show. He quoted a woman who writes about media and parenting issues as saying: “Bill Cosby was hysterically funny, and yet when push came to shove on The Cosby Show, there was no question that he and his wife were the authority figures, no question that ‘We’re the parents here, we’re here to take care of you, we’re not your friends.’ We lost something there and it’s time to get it back. A better sense of parents not so much as dominant authorities but as parents.”

While I agree that we’ve lost an overall sense of authority over today’s kids, I think the TV shows are simply reflecting today’s reality.  (Ever try to lightly reprimand/correct the behavior of  a kid who’s not yours? Be prepared for pediatric snark and smirks.) If you’re going to complain that TV parents are acting too much like kids, we need to start with the actual parents they’re depicting.

Item #3: Boston Baby & Family Expo

Mark your calendars New Englanders: Next Saturday — that’s March 20 — I’ll be appearing at the Baby & Family Expo at the Bayside Expo Center to tell parents that, while they’ll see lots of products and get lots of parenting advice at the Expo, the most important thing they need to keep in mind is this: If you don’t keep your sense of humor about this child-rearing adventure, you’ll go nuts.

At 10:30 a.m., I’m slated to give a talk/book reading called, “How to Keep Your Sense of Humor (Believe us, you’ll need it!)” where I’ll give expectant and current parents a humorous pep talk and read some of the more embarrassing columns from my parenting/humor book Suburban Mom: Notes from the Asylum. People who attend the talk will not only get a signed copy of the book, but they’ll get the added bonus of meeting “The Girl,” (otherwise known as my daughter) who’ll be helping me out at the Expo.

In addition, my Parents & Kids Magazine editor Heather Kempskie and her twin sister Lisa Hanson, authors of The Siblings Busy Book, will be giving pointers at 1:30 p.m. about activities you can do when you have children of different ages.

If you’re heading to the Expo on Sunday, March 21, you’ll get a chance to meet my buddies, the podcasting divas that are the Manic Mommies,  Erin and Kristin who’ll be taping their show at 1 p.m.

Here’s the link for more info. Hope to see you there.

Image credit: Baby & Family Expo.

A few weeks ago I mentioned here in this space that the three Picket Fence Post kids were eagerly awaiting the fourth installment of Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. From the moment the book arrived at the house, it was in such high demand and everyone wanted to be the first to read it that I decided to do the democratic thing and read it aloud to the three kids over the course of a weekend.

They were so jazzed after we finished reading the fourth book about the Wimpy Kid’s summer vacation that the four of us — me, my twin 11-year-olds and my 8-year-old — e-mailed questions to Kinney about his book and his best selling series, featuring Wimpy Kid in chief, Greg Heffley. The Q&A is below:

Meredith O’Brien, Picket Fence Post: Your portrayal of Greg’s summer, where everything seemed to go wrong — his family’s adoption of a dog wasn’t what Greg hoped it would be, his trip away with Rowley’s family went awry, his “landscaping business” failed and his mother tried to make him read books in which Greg had no interest — had my kids simultaneously laughing and feeling badly for Greg. What were your childhood summers like? Anything like Greg’s?

Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days: I think Greg’s childhood summer was much worse than any of mine. Like Greg, my friend and I tried to start a landscaping business, but my grandmother wouldn’t give me a recommendation (due to poor service on my part), and so we never got past the starting gate. But I think most kids can relate to Greg who has grand plans for his summer that didn’t pan out.

O’Brien: Here’s a question from my 8-year-old son, “When you were Greg Heffley’s age, were you like him?”

Kinney: I was like Greg in some ways. I could be immature and self-centered, but really, I was a normal kid. I think Greg has very exaggerated faults. I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t as flawed as Greg.

O’Brien: Here’s a question from my 11-year-old son, “Where did you get the funny ideas for your books?”

Kinney: I spent a lot of time thinking and remembering funny things I’ve seen or heard. I try to make sure my ideas are realistic, because I think that’s what makes Greg’s story relatable. When I’m writing, I spend every night sitting and thinking with a blanket over my head, trying to come up with a good idea. Most of the time, I fall asleep.

O’Brien: A question from my 11-year-old daughter, “Which one is your favorite Diary of a Wimpy Kid book? Why?

Kinney: I think I’ll always have a soft spot for the first book, since I didn’t have any success in cartooning before it was published.

O’Brien: Another from my daughter, “Who is your favorite character in Dog Days?

Kinney: I think Rowley will always be my favorite character. He’s a good kid and he’s not tainted the same way Greg is.

O’Brien: Another from my 11-year-old son, “Can you give us a preview of the next book?”

Kinney:  Sure . . . it will be about Greg and Rowley’s friendship, and whether or not it can be salvaged as they start to grow apart.

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, a family and child therapist known on the Internet as “The Go-To Mom,” creates videos for parents about everything from potty training and handling a toddler who has a penchant for running away from mom and dad, to dining out in public with young kids. Now she’s become a book author/editor, compiling and recruiting mom writers and businesswomen to muse on the topics of the Internet, women, motherhood and business. Clayton Blaine, who also contributed her own essays to The Internet Mommy: Inspiring Interviews and Stories from Mothers Who Work and Play Online (Disclosure: One of my columns is included in the book), agreed to field some questions.

Meredith O’Brien, Picket Fence Post: Your collection of 13 interviews and 30 essays address a wide swath of subjects, from advice on how to start your own online business and blogging about  parenthood, to the pressure to do everything with aplomb — work, parenthood, romantic relationships, perfect homes and bodies.  What do you hope readers will take away from reading Internet Mommy?

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, The Internet Mommy: I thought moms would enjoy reading about other moms who work play online. But what I didn’t expect was for the book to be a guide or teaching tool to the extent that it’s being used. I’ve gotten feedback from mom bloggers who are highlighting advice and bookmarking pages so they can implement the ideas to further their online careers. I wanted to produce an “offline” publication in part to show the media what moms are really doing online — making friends, earning  money, obtaining parenting advice and making a name for themselves.

O’Brien: Why and how did you put this book together?

Clayton Blaine: As a producer of online women and family content, I regularly make a habit of watching how moms conduct their lives online. The moms featured in my book, who I refer to as the “circle of moms,” were introduced to me through my tenacious social networking. I bumped into them on Twitter, Facebook, from Google alerts, by being a fan of their blogs, or by directly contacting them as potential partners. A lot of these women believe in reciprocating — I’ll do for you if you do for me. It’s a win-win. The support that I received from these online moms is what really inspired me to create the book.

There are many amazing moms doing impressive things online — so many that there are times I find myself green with envy. Many of the women in this book have impressive visitor statistics, make good money, have high caliber advertisers, large publisher book deals or are highly regarded for their advocacy efforts around motherhood. Their successes were even more reason to bring them into the “circle of moms.” Some were easy to get to write an essay for the book, others were hard to contact or very busy that they barely made the deadline!

The “circle of moms,” in my book are women who have a successful online web presence. There are a few moms in my book who don’t generate revenue from their online endeavors, but who do clearly impact thousands of mothers with what they offer. However, the one thread that holds them together is the ever-so-popular, “non-compete” clause. We are all here to support each other, competing only holds women down. The Internet is HUGE, so I suggest we make room for all! There are so many other moms who should have been in my book, but I simply did not have the connection, time or mode to include them. I’m just thankful that they (and you) took the time to help out.

O’Brien: Do you see the Internet as the new frontier for mom-run businesses? Why?

Clayton Blaine: I think any business eventually has to have some online presence. The Internet is clearly a great way to market a mom’s business. Having a web page is not good enough. Businesses now need to commit to socially engaging their clients or post write-ups on their service or products. Social marketing along with networking is key, and women are particularly good at that!

O’Brien: A good portion of the essays and interviews dealt with women who started blogs about parenting and write some pretty personal stuff about themselves and their families. One essay by Beth Blecherman entitled, “Live Blogging Pillow Fight with My Three Boys” focused on Blecherman’s decision to post updates about her kids’ pillow fight on Twitter as it unfolded. Do you think that blogs and social networking has changed modern parenthood, if so, why?

Clayton Blaine: I truly believe that blogs and especially social networks have changed modern parenthood by bridging the gap between parenting and technology. I included Beth’s Twitter posts about her boys’ pillow fight because it’s a great example of how moms stay connected to other moms, which in the past could not have been done so easily. I have more friends now that I’m online running my business than I did eight years ago when I was not online. I have intertwined my business and social life. I don’t feel isolated online. When I’m in a rut, I pop on Twitter and get some quick answers from other moms. I just love that. Or I’ll drop a direct message to someone asking for advice. I’m more efficient at running an online business because I’m not in a rush to shut down the shop at the end of the day. I can play and work at the same time. On the flip side, since I work at home, I can leave the computer for a few hours and be with my children. The flexibility is invaluable.

We *knock on wood* seem to be a reasonably healthy family. We eat relatively healthy meals, or at least I offer the kids an array of healthy foods if you go by an entire week’s worth of meals (though they don’t always eat the well rounded fare). The kids have daily vitamins, drink milk and have lots of fresh fruit. They go to their regular well kid and dentist appointments. They’re active and play on sports teams. So why the heck does it seem like the twin 11-year-olds and the 8-year-old are sick all the time?

Within the past week, all three of the Picket Fence Post kids have been home sick from school with some viral/cold thingie. (Throw in two half days that each of the kids’ schools had last week, and I realized that I haven’t been freed from daytime child care responsibilities in over a week. Plus, they don’t have school on Monday. It’s difficult to work from home under such conditions.) The viral/cold thingie, which the nurse at the pediatrician’s office said I should simply allow to run its course, has mildly affected  The Spouse and I, though it didn’t stop us from seeing U2 in concert on Monday night in Foxborough, hip music fans are we, amidst a sea of Baby Boomer and GenXer concert goers out on a school night.

I’ve grown tired of this viral/cold thingie. I want this sick business to end. Pronto.

In other family melodrama . . .

. . . While she’s been recovering from her viral/cold thingie, The Girl gobbled up Twilight, the vampire novel that’s been so popular with the tween- and teenaged populace. (She came home from soccer practice last week and told me she felt left out because “everybody” on the team had already read it, everyone but her. Plus they all have cell phones, she added, to which I snorted with laughter.) It took her one day to plow through Twilight, seeing as though she was home sick from school and did nothing but read. At around lunchtime today, The Girl appeared in the kitchen to inform me that she HAD to have the next book in the series, New Moon. And given that she’s very excited for reading material and I adore that she’s reading, I’m going to oblige her.

Speaking of reading, The Youngest Boy (who’s not a fan of reading and has to be heavily lobbied to crack open a book) told me yesterday that he “loves” (he actually used the word “loves”) reading now that he’s able to read Diary of a Wimpy Kid in school. Said he “can’t put the book down.” I almost shouted with joy.

So when the new installment of the Wimpy Kid books, Diary of a Wimpy Kid Dog Days comes out on October 12, I’m going to make a big deal out of its release in our house, hoping to cultivate and nurture his budding excitement about reading. Can’t hurt.

Image credit: Stephenie Meyer web site.

I’ve written about California third grade teacher Phillip Done before, when he was doing press for his book 32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny, which had funny albeit mildly horrifying (from a parental standpoint) anecdotes about his experiences with his students over the years. (Read my previous Q&A with him here.)

Given that my youngest is now in third grade and Done has a new third-grade-centric book out — Close Encounters of the Third Grade Kind: Thoughts on Teacherhood – I’m thinking that I’ve already found my son’s teacher’s Christmas gift.

While reading the chronological meditations about events that occurred during each month of a school year, I was reminded of Robert Fulgham’s books (All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten). Done’s book offers sage nuggets of down-to-earth wisdom about his teaching experiences, taking readers by the hand and showing them the chaos of your average elementary school Photo Day, the challenges of teaching kids how to write letters, coping with questions about the Tooth Fairy and mastering the art of cursive. Throughout the book, Done doles out sayings that go to the heart of what makes good elementary school teachers:

– “Teachers are like puppeteers. We keep the show in motion.”

– “Teachers are like conductors. We try to get everyone to play together nicely.”

– “Teachers are like farmers. We sow the seeds — not too close together or they’ll talk too much.”

– “Teachers are like actors. We work in front of an audience.”

– “Teachers are memory makers, too. We know that the stories, paintings, and plaster of Paris handprints that children make at school will someday become family treasures.”

My favorite part of the book — other than the emotional chapter where Done recalls one of his students’ struggles with and eventual death from leukemia, as well as Done eulogizing the boy – involved Done’s class’ ”Kindness Jar.” After being the recipient of a stranger’s kindness in a Starbucks, Done decided to hold a “Kindness Week” in his class, where the students were supposed to commit at least three random acts of kindness.  Once they did the kind act, they were supposed to write what that act was on a slip of paper and put it in the “Kindness Jar.”

The kids responded to this project enthusiastically. One boy said his kindness was listening to his mother when she told him to go brush his teeth and go to bed, which he did without talking back. (Apparently that was a tough thing for this kid, atypical, because his mother felt his forehead afterward to make sure he wasn’t ill.) Another boy mowed the lawn. A girl washed her father’s car and another even brought a mom breakfast in bed for no reason at all.

Come to think of it, maybe I should get this book for ALL of my kids’ teachers. Maybe it’d plant some good seeds.

Image credit: Phillip Done web site.

Item #1: Harry Potter

I took my resident, twin 10-year-old Harry Potter addicts to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday and was unpleasantly surprised by the trailers that were run prior to the showing of PG movie being played in the middle of a weekday. They were extremely violent, more so than the magical, wizarding violence in the Potter series.

One film, spearheaded by John Cusack as the dad of two kids, was about the end of the world. We saw streets and major landmarks being swallowed up, a fake newscast about mass suicide, children being put in danger. There was a preview for a vampire movie for which I don’t think my kids are mature enough to see. Then there was the Sherlock Holmes trailer which I likewise have no plans to let them watch when its released in the winter. These were previews geared toward a teenaged audience, not the mostly a tweenaged one obsessed with a boy wizard and catching a 1:10 p.m. flick.

Some may ask whether it’s hypocritical to complain about scary, violent movie trailers when I was bringing my kids to a scary Harry Potter movie with one seriously creepy scene. Here’s my response: My kids have read all the Potter books a bazillion times and have seen all the previous movies. They knew what was coming and when to avert their eyes. (I pointedly did NOT take my nearly 8-year-old to see the movie because I thought it would be intense.) As for the trailers that aired before Half-Blood Prince, I thought they were distinctly age-inappropriate. I looked around the theater and noticed many kids my children’s age who looked terrified.

Here’s one that was aired for the apocalyptic film 2012:

As for Half-Blood Prince, while The Girl and The Eldest Boy did like it and said they want to see it many times over again – albeit once it comes out on DVD and we can fast-forward through scary parts if they so desire — they were disheartened by the several changes made in the movie that didn’t jive with the book, particularly in a pivotal scene. When I read aloud Entertainment Weekly’s Whitney Pastorek’s “Harry Potter geeks: Vent your frustrations about the movie changes here” blog item, the two kids roared with approval. While I was unhappy with some of the changes, I WAS, overall, highly entertained.

Item #2: Three-Hankie Entertainment

Continuing with the cinematic theme . . . I enjoyed Michelle Slatalla’s column in the New York Times about her daughters’ obsession with books and films that make them cry with their dreadfully melancholy premises, and who dragged her to see My Sister’s Keeper, a tragic, sick kid movie which makes me grab for the Kleenex just at the mere thought of its premise.

Slatalla wrote:

“. . . [I]nstead of ‘All-of-a-Kind Family’ or ‘Betsy-Tacy,’ in which the biggest excitement was the simple act of growing up, my children always preferred tear-jerkers featuring girls with fatal diseases, in which protagonists were forever going into and out of remission and meeting similarly doomed boys at summer camps for the terminally ill.”

Item #3: The Scourge of Naked Kids

Some parents are comfortable allowing their very young children to run around in the buff. Some aren’t. This is news? The New York Times ran a huge story in its Home section yesterday entitled, “When Do They Need a Fig Leaf: Children Like to Strip Down But Not Everyone Approves,” and quoted those in favor of naked kids and those opposed, including parents of young children who are offended when their 3-year-olds are in the presence of naked friends:

“For many parents, allowing a child to run around naked at home is perfectly natural, an expression of the physical freedom that represents the essence of childhood, especially in the summer. But for others, unclad bodies are an affront to civility, a source of discomfort and a potentially dangerous attraction for pedophiles. These clashing sensibilities can create conflict, even when the nudity in question takes place at home.”

Some questions for you, my intrepid readers:

1) Have you taken your kids to movies and been unhappy with the content of the film trailers?

2) When you were young, did you like to read books or see movies that made you cry, or is this a new teenaged girl phenomenon?

3) Do you think that seeing naked little kids frolicking in their own homes is a scourge?

Image credit: Warner Brothers via GateHouse News Service.

When I posted a lengthy story/interview with author Lenore  Skenazy — who wrote Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry — I neglected to include on this blog a YouTube video that she prominently mentioned in her book.

Arguing that parents shouldn’t try to protect their children from every risk, thereby robbing them of valuable learning opportunities, Skenazy said that encouraging an “If I fail, so what? I will try again” mindset is considered to be a child’s “surest path to success.”

I finally looked up the “Life=Risk” video she mentioned in her chapter, “Fail! It’s the New Succeed.” And I think I’m going to keep it bookmarked and pull it up onto the computer screen the next time one of my Picket Fence Post kids is feeling down or discouraged.

Lenore Skenazy is passionate about her cause: Giving children — and their parents – freedom. For the kids, it’s the freedom to play outside without grown-ups, to make mistakes, to climb trees, to walk to school alone, to frolic. For their parents, it’s giving them the confidence to let go of irrational fears that make them to want to place their children under lock and key or 24/7 surveillance. Or both.

Following the hullabaloo that accompanied her controversial public announcement (via a column in the New York Sun) that she let her then-9-year-old son to ride the New York subway solo, Skenazy started what she believes to be a movement, the “free-range kids” movement. Now that movement has a web site and a book, Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry. 

Instead of the Picket Fence Post’s typical author Q&A , I’ve summarized my chat with Skenazy below, as the author mused at length on a number of topics including why parents today are safety crazy and how to put risk into perspective. (Note: Some of Skenazy’s quotes below have been condensed.)

When we started chatting, the first subject that came up was the story about the New Hampshire father who was arrested and charged with child endangerment after he left his 16-month old alone in the car. (Police said the child, who was treated and released from the hospital, appeared to be suffering from “heat-related signs of distress.”) Prior to our interview, I’d been listening to radio talk show callers say they’d never leave a child alone in a car, largely because they were afraid a stranger would steal the child. One caller said, “Your baby only has one infancy. Why would you risk it?” I asked Skenazy about the callers’ opinions, in particular, the invoking of the “but it COULD happen” and the “if it’s one in a million chance, what if YOU’RE the one in a million” arguments.

This is what Skenazy called relying on “the very least likely scenario on earth” to gauge something’s relative safety.

“People get upset about these risks we ‘can’t take,’” Skenazy said. “We need to put it in perspective.” Parents who don’t constantly watch their children when they’re out of the house are pilloried by their peers in this climate of fear, she said. “I keep thinking of the Salem witch trials as the only sort of working analogy for me.” By writing her book which encourages affording more freedom to kids and for allowing her own grade schooler to take the subway alone, she said, “I’m on trial for being a cavalier parent who doesn’t care about safety.”

Putting risk into perspective

After scrutinizing federal child abduction statistics for her book, Skenazy said she learned that: “If you were outside in the 1970s/1980s, your children are safer outside today. To say this to anyone and to have them digest it are two different things because people don’t believe it. People don’t want to believe it.”

Even if parents believe that it’s possible to vigilantly protect their children from harm, there’s no way to eliminate all risks, she said. “It’s all this mistaken notion that if we avoid everything, we’ll avoid risk. First of all, we’re all going to die,” Skenazy said, adding that the fact that the number one cause of death for children is as a result of vehicular crashes doesn’t stop parents from driving their children around. She said people have put the risks of automobile accidents into context by saying that driving is a necessary evil. And they should put the risk of child abductions into the same perspective, Skenazy said.

Parents have been persuaded to substitute the advice from TV and magazine experts for their own, and often fret about something that has a statistically minuscule chance of occurring, resulting in the over-zealoused protection our children, she said. (more…)

If you live in New England, it may not seem like summer outside just yet. It’s been damp and cold and distinctly un-June-like outside. And while the school calendars are winding down (though several last-minute school projects are still ongoing and causing supreme angst in the Picket Fence Post household), summertime ’tis a-comin’ regardless . . . which means we’ll be tackling some of the activities in The Double-Daring Book for Girls, a collection of activities and general knowledge entries that’ll liven up your little gals’ (and boys’ . . . don’t tell ‘em the book title) summer.

The Girl and I have perused the 275 pages of activities countless times since we received it. (She’s also combed the book’s contents with her neighborhood gal pal.) However the activities she’s itchin’ to do are better suited for doing out of doors in summer-like weather . . . when we have 30 spare moments to cobble together.

So, as soon as it truly feels like summer and the Picket Fence Post family’s schedules have let up (sports have concluded, school and the insufferable projects are almost completed), here are the projects The Girl has ID’ed as ones in which she’s keenly interested:

 ”How to Dye Your Hair Using Kool-Aid.”

I know, you’re likely thinking that I’m nuts to even consider letting her do this. There’s even a warning at the beginning which says, “BEWARE! This project is messy and Kool-Aid will stain. Wear an old T-shirt to protect your clothes, and have a buddy help you.” Hence, we’re waiting until it’s warm outside, and until she no longer has to show up at school each day after she’s dyed her hair blue or purple or whatever color she selects. (Don’t worry Grandma, the color washes out. Eventually.) I haven’t yet informed The Spouse that I’ve already given The Girl permission to do this once it’s warmer.

“Make a Decoupage Bowl.”

Again, this decoupage bowl bowl project seems like it has the potential to be mighty messy what with oils, glue and/or varnish in the ingredients list. (And I’m anticipating that The Youngest Boy — age 7 — might want to participate as well.) But I think that our backyard will be the perfect place for The Girl and her gal pal (and whoever else wants to join in) to tackle this activity.

“Make a Lava Lamp.”

Actually, this is one The Boy (age 10, like his twin sis) wants to do. Includes baby oil, water, food coloring, mess in general. Again . . . this’ll be an outdoor activity.

Other activities in this empowering, kid-centric guidebook include: “How to Catch Fish,” “How to Build a Raft,” “How to Debate” (I think I’ll keep the Picket Fence Post kids away from this one; they’ve already mastered it), “Hula-Hoops,” “Make a Snow Globe” and “The Double-Daring Girl’s Guide to Getting Out of Trouble.”

To broaden the kids’ minds there are thoughtful entries on topics such as: “Notable Women,” “Cowgirls,” “Being a Private Eye,” “Horses” and “Dreams and Their Meanings.”

Once we’ve tackled the three projects above (dye hair, bowl and lava lamp), I’ll post images here.

Image credit: Double Daring Book for Girls.

Item #1: Grandparents Want Hip Names

A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about how I thought the media were unfairly maligning Baby Boomer grandparents — specifically grandmothers – portraying them as too narcissistic to be bothered to do “grandmotherly” duties and pitting them against one another.

This week I saw yet another grandparent-centric article which deepened my suspicion that the media have grown tired of the old working mom/at-home mom “mommy wars” and is trying to drum up some excitement for the so-called ”nana wars.” This page one article in the Boston Globe focused on the fact that some grandparents don’t want their grandkids to call them by traditional names and prefer either their first names or something quirkier, hipper. The article entitled, “They love being grandparents, but call them something else,” begun this way:

“As the youth-obsessed baby boomers advance, albeit reluctantly, into the next phase of their lives, they are embracing grandparenthood with the same gusto they have expressed for everything else, be it exercise or adventure travel. They’re loading the grandkids’ video games onto their own iPods, listening to their music, and taking them on trips.

But grandparenting comes with a catch: It means you are getting old — or at least older. And that’s not sitting well with a generation that grew up on The Who singing, ‘I hope I die before I get old.” Sure, they want to be grandparents. Just don’t call them that.”

The article offered examples of grandparents who prefer to be called by their first names or unusual monikers such as Bubbles, Sharky, Pebbles, Rock, Gram-E and Nanno. Somehow I don’t think we’ve seen the last of the this-generation-of-grandparents-isn’t-playing-by-the-so-called-”rules” stories.

Item #2: ‘Free’ the Kids

I’m currently finishing reading the book Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy, with whom I’m hoping to conduct a Q&A for posting on this blog next week. She makes the compelling argument that we’ve become too over protective of our children in all areas of their lives. And she’s not the only one who thinks so.

In my June Parents & Kids Magazine column entitled, “Free the Children: Not a Slogan for This Generation of Parents,” I addressed how different childhood is for kids today versus when we were youths (like when my parents used to regularly send me to the store to buy them cigarettes whereas today they’d be jailed for doing so). The column calls attention to an incident this spring involving the police, a 10-year-old boy and a mother who let said boy walk down the street solo to soccer practice and got harassed about endangering her child.

(more…)