Picket Fence Post

Item #1: New find — The Pajama Diaries

Amidst the glut of post-election analyses, number crunching and U.S. maps colored red and blue, this week I discovered a new comic strip in the Boston Globe. (If it was there before, I hadn’t noticed it until now. My bad.)

The Pajama Diaries, by Terri Libenson, features a character named Jill who is a freelance graphic designer who works out of her house, is married, and has two young girls. (That could be me, only with three kids, only one of whom is a girl.) Jill lives across the street from a family whose home she snarkily dubbed “Perfectville” and uses the DVD player as a babysitter so she can quickly get some work done without interruption from the little people.

After reading through some of her previous comic strips, they hit home, both about the challenges of working from home and about the struggle against the perfect, and they made me laugh. It’s gonna be a new staple in the Picket Fence Post home.

Item #2: Boston Globe Features ‘Mommy Dating’

Ever bring your kids to a local playground and hoped that a mom would talk to you or that a group of moms would welcome you into their fold? That’s called “mommy dating,” according to the Boston Globe  which likens playgrounds to meat markets:

“To the casual observer, the playground may appear a pleasant tableau of mothers and babysitters and, oh, children. But to the initiated, it can be as socially charged as a singles’ bar. The blonde mom over here, the organics-only mom over there, the insecure moms hovering near the swings, pretending to be occupied by the kids. Meanwhile, style is assessed, labels identified, judgments made.”

Now that my kids have gotten older and we don’t hang out at playgrounds like we used to, I’ve become the mom standing on the sidelines at one of my kids’ bazillion games, chugging a caffeinated beverage, and hoping someone won’t point a finger at me and say, “There’s the mom who hates on kids’ sports and the PTO online and in columns. Don’t talk to her.”

Item #3: First Family Gets Ready

On page one of today’s New York Times there’s a feature story entitled, ”A Family Expected to Balance State Dinners with Sleepovers.” The reporter spoke with Michelle Obama’s Chicago friends and how the First Family plans to create its own support system for the girls on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Interesting read.

Image credit: The Pajama Diaries.

Item #1: Kids Pick the President

We adults cast our votes for the next commander in chief on Tuesday, that is if you haven’t already voted in those states that allow early voting.

But last week, 2.2 million Nickelodeon viewers made their choice: Senator Barack Obama, who won with 51 percent of the vote to Senator John McCain’s 49 percent.

According to United Press International: “Nickelodeon said it has held a kids’ vote every presidential election year since 1988, and children have correctly predicted the winner of four out of the last five U.S. presidential campaigns.”

The last time the kids picked incorrectly? Four years ago, when they selected Senator John Kerry.

Item #2: Bad Sports Mom

My November Parents & Kids column isn’t going to win me any popularity contests with folks on the sidelines of my kids’ sports and after-school activities. Why? Because it’s about what a bad sports mom I am because I don’t like how much of my family’s time the children’s activities consume. And I’m a tad bitter about it.

Item #3: Christmas Lists. In October.

My mother (*waving “Hi” to her as she reads this blog*) called me last night to request a list of Christmas gift recommendations for the Picket Fence Post-lings. As an organized person is wont to do, she would like to get her Christmas shopping done early so she can thoroughly enjoy the Yuletide season without the stress of racing around to stores.

However I wasn’t feeling particularly organized at the moment of her call, as I was still wrangling with The Eldest Boy over his Halloween costume. In fact, the subject of children and gift giving/receiving is a sore one in my household right now as The Spouse and I continue to debate The Eldest Boy’s birthday present. My 10-year-old Alex P. Keaton seems to think he can just return the gift he’d previously said he wanted and take the cash instead. This issue will be the focus of my December Parents & Kids column. (FYI — If you have any good Christmas list/gift anecdotes or suggestions, please post them in the comments section below.)

Therefore, when my unsuspecting mother brought up the topic of Christmas lists last night, my head exploded. Luckily she was on the phone and not at my house. Was a tad messy.

Sorry Mom. The list is going to take a while, unless, of course, you just want to get them clothes, which they really need. Pajamas would be good.

Image credit: Obama/Biden campaign.

Item #1: Late Night Sox

I, along with many members of Red Sox Nation, am bleary-eyed today after staying up (or trying) to watch last night’s Red Sox playoff game in California that ended in the wee hours of the morning. While the Sox were triumphant, I must admit that there were about a half-dozen times when I nodded off for extended chunks of the game. (I should’ve had that iced coffee I was talking about drinking at 7.)

And with the pressure to be remain wide awake tonight in order to watch the historic vice presidential debate – when debates are boring, they often require caffeine in order to make it through and actually understand what’s being said — I’m going to keep the good coffee grower folks in business.

Item #2: The Duggar Family of 19 Makes Me Tired

Some call it a reality show. I call it a horror show. Just the very concept of a household teeming with 17, soon to be 18 children, is enough to send me back to the warm, cozy confines of my bed, and pull the covers over my head (and after late night Sox games, retiring to bed is even more alluring).

But in a world where I’m fatigued just trying to work and take care of three kids, I know I’m not the only American who is fascinated with just how a large family – a super-sized one in this case – actually makes it through the days without murder, mayhem and graffiti.

Enter: 17 Kids and Counting. On The Learning Channel. The premiere episode of the reality show this week featured a trip by the collection of “J” first-named kids and their parents to New York City where they were announcing — to the kids and the public — on the Today Show  that Michelle Duggar was pregnant with baby number 18. Just watching the kids pack (My Lord the closets! The clothing! Looked like Filene’s Basement!) was enough to make me want to cry . . . or maybe that was my own personal sleep deprivation.

And this woman home schools the kids. Oy! At least they have one grandmother around to help out.

Item #3: HSM 3 Trailer

The Girl yesterday inquired about the exact date of the theatrical release of High School Musical 3. (October 24 for those of you keeping track at home.) When I Googled it and happened upon the movie’s trailer, she was enthralled. Parents of tweens, prepare for the promotional onslaught.

I had the pleasure last week of sitting next to Alice Domar, the keynote speaker at the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce’s Women’s Initiative dinner. (Note: One of the event sponsors was skirt! magazine, which is owned by the same company as P&K Magazine.) Domar, an internationally known expert on what’s called the mind-body connection, discussed the main themes of her new book, Be Happy Without Being Perfect, specifically on how and why women should let go of the illusion of perfection.

What struck me about Domar, wasn’t just that during dinner, she was a down-to-earth person who spoke with ease about how her tween-aged daughter was upset that Domar had to be out for the evening and about her exploits helping her daughter sell Girl Scout cookies outside a local grocery store. It was that what Domar said — both at the microphone and away from it – was real, didn’t seem rehearsed/polished (even though this is a person who toured with Oprah in 2004-2005 and regularly appears on national television) and indicated that she understands what it’s like to be a working parent circa 2008 during an “epidemic of stress” like the rest of us.

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When we received our children’s school calendars in the mail last month, I sat down with my digital and old fashioned paper calendars to plug in the important dates, including Curriculum Night for my twin fourth graders this coming Thursday.

On previous Curriculum Nights/Open Houses, The Spouse and I have brought all three of our kids along with us. We’ve all listened to the school principals, school nurses and so on, until it was time to visit individual classrooms. During Open Houses at my twins’ schools, The Spouse and I would play man-to-man D, each accompanying one of the twins to his or her classroom. If there was time (which there often wasn’t), we parents would swap and race to see the other twin’s classroom. That’s precisely what we were planning to do at this week’s Fourth Grade Curriculum Night. Then we received this letter on late Tuesday afternoon:

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I’ve gotta hand it to Bruce Handy, a writer and deputy editor at Vanity Fair. He created a sarcastic and sharply humorous phony school form for the New York Times that hits the inanity of the dynamics between parents and schools squarely on the mark. (Go here to see the fake form in full.)

The faux parental registration form for a school known as the “Elm Street School” starts off by saying:

“Greetings, parents. We’re sure you’re every bit as excited about the new school year as we are. (Sigh.) Please take the time to fill out the following registration form. Send it in on the first day of school with your fully inoculated, adequately medicated, lice-free son/daughter.”

Among the pieces of information requested on the form:

– The name of the student’s test-prep tutor.

– The name of the student’s playdate coach.

– Whether the child has dietary restrictions, allergies, biting problems, attention-seeking disorder, mange or early-onset despair.

My favorite part: After the line, “This year I will volunteer for,” there are the following volunteer opportunities from which to choose:

“a. Class parent.

b. The auction.

c. The spring fair.

d. All of the above.

e. None of the above? O.K., then excuse us while we go and work on those college recommendation letters, if you catch our drift.”

Second favorite part of Handy’s satirical form: Asking parents to promise not to “check my BlackBerry during the holiday concert and/or think unsupportive thoughts during the fifth grade string section’s performance of ‘Dreidel, Dreidel.’”

Item #1: Golden Smiles

The U.S. Women’s Soccer team triumphantly won gold this week at the Beijing Olympics. Not only did they emerge victorious, the players — whose ranks included moms of young kiddos – inspired a whole new generation of soccer players, as you can see by the beautiful photo to the left. Makes ya want to cheer, “U-S-A!”

Item #2: Parents Followin’ College Kids

The New York Times ran a story that I found disturbing. It was about a mini “trend” among parents who, once their offspring goes away to college, decide to buy a second home in the town where their kid is attending school:

“. . . [S]ome parents are investing in college towns in an unexpected new way: they’re following their kids to college. From South Bend, Ind., to Oxford, Miss., from Hanover, N.H., to Knoxville, Tenn., they are buying second homes for themselves near campuses where their children are enrolled.

Many, like [M.J. and Jim Berrien], want front-row seats to watch their family athletes perform. Some seek a gathering place for football games or family holidays. Others long for a retreat with the amenities of a college town — and why not the one where they have children attending?”

One of the parents said she’d “been seduced” by a college town, while another said the college community would make “an ideal retirement place.” Some said that their kids (and their kids’ friends) are thrilled with having access to the home, free laundry plus home-cooked meals parents cook when they’re in town.

Helen E. Johnson, author of Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money:The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years, told the paper that she hopes parents are buying the homes for the “right reasons,” and urged them to seriously ponder the answers to these questions: “Would I like to be in this town even if my child wasn’t?” and “Does this have more to do with my need than theirs?” Then she threw in this killer line, “You might be making your child more fragile, not less.”

Another contrarian opinion was voiced by DenYelle Keynon of the University of South Dakota who has studied “the parent-student relationship” once the kid goes to college. She told the Times: “Research has found that the parent-child relationship grows better once the child has left the house. Parents should be careful not interrupt that process.”

Ouch.

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