Picket Fence Post

This past weekend, my column on the plethora of inappropriately sexy Halloween costumes being marketed to young girls ran on the front page of the MetroWest Daily News’ Sunday Opinion Section.

It must’ve been serendipity because the very next day, I saw this photo of Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister Noah dressed up for a Halloween party looking as though she’d donned one of the costumes I’d railed against as being bad for young girls and sending them the wrong messages.

The blog DListed had more photos of Noah in her costume which were just as stomach-churning as this one.

When I see these Halloween photos, along with teenaged Miley Cyrus’ recent pole dancing act at the Teen Choice Awards in August, I don’t feel confident in the message the Cyrus family is attempting to send to young girls, especially when my 11-year-old daughter’s a Hannah Montana fan.

Image credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures via Parent Dish.

I’m going to try — operative word, TRY — to have a stay-cation this week, as they are all the rage this year and I’m so on the cutting edge of everything and all.

This will be hard, given that I work from home and am always coming up with things about which to blog on one of the blogs I write, or Twitter about something, or go on Facebook. All the stuff is . . . right there . . . I could just grab the laptop . . .

I wasn’t planning on working today, but an insane weekend filled with a series of (sometimes tense) mishaps conspired against me and I had to finish up some stuff today, thus The Spouse is at the pool with the three kiddos and I’m home trying to finish the work so I won’t do any more this weekend. *fingers crossed*

Sooo, I’ll be back here next week with more Picket Fence Post madness with highlights from the stay-cation. Ciao!

There’s this new film that’s recently been released and I’m in a quandary about it. It’s directed by Sam Mendes, the guy who directed last year’s major downer, 1950s-era Revolutionary Road  starring the wonderful Kate Winslet. I went into that film with big expectations, seeing that I’m such a Winslet fan, plus I was suckered in by the trailer. However as much as I wanted to, alas, I absolutely did not like the film. Hated the ending. And whenever I looked at Leonardo DiCaprio playing the thirtysomething suburban dad who takes the train into the city to work, I just kept thinking, “He’s no Don Draper.” (For the uninitiated few, Don Draper is the lead character – played by Jon Hamm – on the amazing AMC drama Mad Men.)

There were people in the theater watching Revolutionary Road with The Spouse and me, fellow suburban dwellers, who were laughing out loud at parts that were NOT funny, or at least they weren’t intended to be gut-busters. Afterwards, while I was in the restroom, a couple of women, friends I’m guessing, who’d seen the film spied The Spouse waiting in the hall and told him they felt sorry that he’d had to sit through it. One remarked, “My husband would kill me if I made him go see this.”

Hence my hesitation with Mendes’ new film, Away We Go, about a thirtysomething, unmarried and unmoored couple who are about to become first-time parents. After learning that the man’s parents are moving to another country, the couple decides they need to find the best location in which to raise their baby and, perhaps, be in close proximity to some family and friends. Their journey takes them to visit said friends and family all over the place where they observe all variety of parenting styles and attitudes, from completely laissez faire to some serious attachment parenting. It stars The Office’s John Krasinski and Saturday Night Live’s Maya Rudolph.

Although it’s garnered mixed reviews, I’m still tempted to see it because I don’t think I can rely on the movie reviewers, seeing as though they’re the ones who convinced me to go see Revolutionary Road in the first place. The Spouse and I don’t get to go out to many movies together, so I want to chose which films I see on the silver screen and blow babysitting money on wisely.

Has anyone seen it and if so, what did you think?

Are therea ny films to which you’ve had to literally drag your spouse and later regretted it? (Link to the film trailer here.)

Item #1: Movie Sets are Boring

I thought the kids might find it fun to visit the location where a movie is being filmed in the MetroWest/Boston area. We might get the chance to see Adam Sandler, who the kids loved in the comedy Bedtime Stories, and maybe even Paul Blart, THE Mall Cop.

So after school one day this week, I drove the three of ‘em to the film shoot. We stood with a large crowd of other spectators across the street from where they were filming. Several of their friends came by intermittently, including a Girl Scout troop run whose members the eldest two kids knew. While they were amazed to see one of their teachers drive by in her mini-van, I told them to be on alert for some real fun as I handed them a Sharpie and a notebook for autographs.

However I think I way oversold it. We waited for over two hours and what did we get for our patience? Mere glimpses of Sandler, who gamefully waved to the crowd from across the street . . . and atop a hill . . .  kind of behind other people, and of other celebs who the kids didn’t know, such as Salma Hayek, Chris Rock and David Spade. Some random guy driving a Lamborghini past us on the street was actually the highlight of their experience, that and seeing the teacher in the mini-van.

The Youngest Boy complained non-stop, threatening to explode with boredom and hunger, even though I’d just given him a big bowl of ice cream before we left the house. When he found out that we were going to be at the set through the kids’ TV hour (5 o’clock), he stomped his feet and ran away from me, but not too far away. The Eldest Boy was so utterly bored that he kept pestering me that he had homework to do (on a project not due until the end of the week) and that I was wasting his time, taking away from his education.

What’s that they say about the road and good intentions?

Item #2: Dinner Knife Mystery

We are suddenly, noticably short on dinner knives, those relatively dull knives that came with our everyday flatware set. No matter how many times I run and then unload the dishwasher, we continue to be short on them. Where are they all going? Is someone throwing them away or swiping them? Should I check beneath The Youngest Boy’s bed, where I’ll likely find a treasure trove of candy wrappers, overdue library books, a mix of dirty and clean clothing and all of my working pens?

We’re also grappling with another mystery in our house: Who ate a big hunk out of The Youngest Boy’s solid, chocolate Easter bunny? (Yes, we still have Easter candy in the house, a little bit lying around.) For some unknown reason, The Youngest Boy decided to hoard his bunny until a future date. That future date was Monday, when he discovered — after a frantic search for the bunny – that someone else had beaten him to the punch and consumed a hefty chunk of it, the head and shoulders. He issued all manner of accusations and suspected everyone but me who, sadly, can’t eat milk chocolate (dairy allergy).

We’ve yet to find the perp and I doubt we will, I told him. Let that be a lesson to ya kid, don’t leave your solid chocolate bunny lying around in a house of candy freaks. But that still doesn’t help me answer my question: Where the heck are all the dinner knives?

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Consider this, “Three for Thursday: The Comedy Edition”

Item #1: ‘One Funny Mother’ in Natick (Mass.)

The Manic Mommies think we moms need a laugh. So they’ve invited comedian Dena Blizzard to Natick, Mass. to do a one-woman show called “One Funny Mother: I’m Not Crazy” next week. Blizzard – who I saw during the Manic Mommies’ first “Escape” weekend — lives up to her billing, plus her act includes parentally incorrect humor.

The show — which I’m planning on attending even though all three of my kids have games/practices/classes on that afternoon/evening — is on Thursday, May 7 at The Center for Arts in Natick (14 Summer Street) at 7:30. As far as I know, tickets are still available . . . but only for those who feel like laughing.

Item #2: A Scary ‘Little Boy Blue’ Rendition

Speaking of humor . . . if you’re angry with your tot for any reason, have him or her watch actor Michael Emerson — who plays the sinister Ben Linus on Lost — recite the most unsettling version of the nursery rhyme “Little Boy Blue” that I’ve ever seen. (Link to the video here.)

Item #3: New Mom Jen Garner on Letterman

One of the things I love about actress Jennifer Garner is that during all the media interviews I’ve seen her do over the years, she’s continued to come across as grounded and real. Since she’s become a mother — she has a 3-year-old and a 3-month-old — Garner has continued telling it like it is, including how she “fakes” being a mom who has it ”all together.”

Case-in-point, her appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman. I loved what she said about how even though she tries to tackle the multitude of things on her plate between work and her young daughters all while she’s in the throes of sleep deprivation, it eventually catches up with her. (Link to the video here.)

In the second part of the interview (link to the second part of the interview here), Garner talked about how much calmer and more laid back she is as a second-time mom, and how her older daughter is handling being a big sister. Letterman also asked Garner about the wounds she had on her leg (she said she simply fell down) and slathered them with an anti-bacterial gel like the doting dad that he is, particularly when he talks about parenting his own son Harry.

Scene: Front yard of a New England home in the ‘burbs on a snow day, at the tail-end of a blizzard.

Cast: The Eldest Boy, The Youngest Boy, The Girl and The Mom.

The Eldest Boy burst through the front door, covered in snow.

Eldest Boy: Mom! Mom! [The Youngest Boy's] hurt!

Mom, who was trying to work on her laptop, looked out her office window and saw The Youngest Boy lying motionless on his back on the snow-covered driveway.

Mom: What happened to him?

Eldest Boy: He was hit by a snowball in the stomach. He can’t get up. You need to come and get him!

Mom sighed, got up, walked over to the front door and looked out at the driveway again.

Mom: I’m not going out there. [Pulled zip-up sweater closer around her, feeling the cold breeze from outside.] You go help him up and help him in here please.

The Eldest Boy ran to his brother and yanked him up, awkwardly sliding his arm around his little brother’s shoulders. The Youngest Boy, intermittantly putting his body weight onto his brother, unconvincingly limped toward the front stoop. Once inside, the red-cheeked Youngest Boy deeply drew in a breath.

Mom: Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?

The Youngest Boy: My belly. A snowball hit my belly.

The Youngest Boy slowly put his hand to his belly. The Mom, gave him a hug and started to remove his gloves.

Mom: I’m sorry about that.

The Youngest Boy: [Sniffed.] But I feel better now. I’m gonna go back outside.

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Item #1: Pox Upon My House (Chicken Pox, That Is)

I thought we were all set. The Spouse and I both had chicken pox when we were children. All three of our offspring had received the chicken pox vaccine during their first year of life. But it wasn’t until my 7-year-old boy was diagnosed with chicken pox yesterday when I learned that, in order for the immunity to the disease to be maintained, physicians have determined that a booster shot of the vaccine is needed. And my kids hadn’t had them.

Since the pediatrician’s visit yesterday — where we were told that The Youngest Boy’s bout with chicken pox should be mild because he’s been vaccinated once — we’ve also had our twin 10-year-olds receive booster shots, even though there’s still a chance they too could develop chicken pox in the coming days if their immunities to the disease have diminished.

So I spent yesterday afternoon e-mailing and calling people with whom we’ve come in contact or who’ve visited our house in the past week or so, and informing them that my kid had chicken pox and that if they haven’t had it, haven’t been vaccinated or had a booster shot, they should be on the look out for suspicious red blemishes. It reminded me of the time when one of the children contracted lice from school, and kindly shared it with me, and I had to contact a ton of people to warn them . . . except I think the lice calls were harder and more embarrassing to make.

Item #2: ‘High School Musical’ Lunchbox Gets the Shaft

The Girl is a Disney Channel addict. She loves all things High School Musical and Hannah Montana. She adores the Jonas Brothers, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Wizards of Waverly Place. So it’s no surprise that her lunchbox bears an HSM logo and the likeness of the film series’ stars.

When I was packing her school lunch earlier this week, she asked me to put aside the HSM lunchbox and instead use a plain, navy, canvas lunch sack The Spouse got at some business conference and has the name of a law firm on the top. What changed her mind? She said she sits with boys at her lunch table who aren’t big Troy Bolton fans and would have (or already have?) made fun of her. I was surprised to find myself feeling just as disappointed as when she abandoned her Kim Possible lunch box in favor of the HSM gang. It’s one more step.

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