Picket Fence Post

Item #1: Primetime Adoption Stories

If you’ve been watching House, 30 Rock and/or Brothers & Sisters lately, you might’ve noticed that they have at least one thing in common: Storylines involving career-oriented women who are seeking to adopt children. Sadly, thus far in the season, none of the fictional women has had any good news to report, and, in at least one case, a woman’s busy work schedule was held against her. I wrote about these primetime adoption stories in a column over on Mommy Track’d.

Item #2: Proposed Ban on Fast Food Ads

Question for the universe: Who buys fast food for young children? The kids, who have no means of getting to McDonald’s and likely don’t have the spare cash for a Big Mac? No, it’s not the 3-year-old toddling down to the local fast food joint on his own. It’s the adults in that 3-year-old’s life who buy him the fatty food. Adults, my friends, can just say, “No,” no matter how many tempting McDonald’s ads the kids see on TV.

In fact the adults can use these ads as teachable moments to explain to their little charges how the folks who created the ads don’t care about children, that they’re just trying to persuade kids to spend their parents’ money and eat things that are bad for them. At the same time, the adults can explain the concept of moderation, that having a burger and fries every once and a while, is fine. If you don’t teach kids about moderation as well as how to say, “No” to tempting advertisements, you’re doing your offspring a disservice as we live in a world that’s saturated with ads and bad food. 

That being said, I, a big First Amendment cheerleader, think it’s unnecessary to enact a ban on fast food advertisements during kids’ programming, no matter what the National Institutes of Health and the National Bureau of Economic Research say in a new study, claiming that if there were a ban on such advertisements, childhood obesity could be cut by 18 percent. (If networks want to voluntarily suspend that type of advertising, that’s their decision.)

“The study measured the number of fast food ads kids watched and found a fast food TV ad ban for children’s programming would reduce the number of overweight children aged 3 to 11 by 18 percent, and for adolescents (12- to 18-year-olds) by 14 percent,” according to Ad Age.

There’s a button on TV remote controls that says “mute” which you can tell your children to push when an ad comes on TV. There are DVDs you could have them watch which are commercial-free. And there’s also another handy button you could also use. It says, “off.”

Item #3: Q&A with Blogging Sisters/Mad Men Fans

I’m so missing Mad Men these days. Sunday nights just aren’t the same. In a moment of missing Don Draper & Co., I decided to e-mail two sisters in the NYC area who blog about Mad Men on their witty site, Basket of Kisses (a reference to Peggy Olson’s genius quip from season one). They fielded several of my questions for my Suburban Mom: Notes from the Asylum blog Q&A including this one about Betty Draper:

Meredith: Betty Draper: Victim, emblematic of young mothers of her era, or narcissistic and spoiled?

Roberta Lipp, Basket of Kisses: Well, both. She is well educated, and now she is full-time devoted to making her house look sparkling and meals on the table. And I think that Don having a secret identity expands the metaphor of a young woman involved with a closed off man who feels like a stranger. But yes, she is spoiled and narcissistic. She has been taught that looks are a woman’s only value, and she looks like she looks. She has some character traits that I’m not a fan of. But I very much feel Betty’s pain. 

Read the entire Q&A here.

Image credit: Greg Gayne/Fox via TV Guide.

The Eldest Boy wanted me to buy him a $45 LaDainian Tomlinson jersey so he could dress up as the San Diego Chargers star for Halloween over his football gear.

Initially, I said, “No.” (Actually, in my head I thought of a more colorful response.)

Then I gave the request more thought. The Eldest Boy hadn’t been thrilled with the birthday present he received from The Spouse and I back in August. (In fact, it’s still sitting in the box in our garage. We haven’t returned it because The Spouse and I can’t agree on whether it should be returned . . . long story.) So I suggested that I return his birthday gift and instead buy him the jersey for his birthday present, enabling him to dress up as Tomlinson for Halloween.

Only he didn’t like this idea. “But I don’t want to wear it after Halloween,” he said.

“You mean you only want to wear it for the two hours you’re trick-or-treating?” I asked.

“Yeah. I wouldn’t wear it after that.”

“No. (*pause, breathe*) Absolutely not. No way. I’m not spending $45 for you to wear something for two hours.”

While his birthday gift remains in the garage, I was finally successful in convincing him to dress up as another football player: Tom Brady. He could wear the jersey he already owns, over his own pads, and — best part – carry a crutch.

The Eldest Boy remains lukewarm to this costume. I think it’s funny, plus it didn’t cost us a dime, my favorite kind of get-up.

Now if I can just figure out how to put my own hair up into an early 1960s beehive for a Mad Men-style costume party for tomorrow night, it’ll all be good. (I’ve already bought nuclear bomb-proof hair spray.) I’m going for the look of one of the gals in the Sterling Cooper secretarial pool. The Spouse is aiming for Paul Kinsey, as The Spouse sports a goatee, a goatee which prevented him from dressing as the hunky Don Draper.

Image credit: Sport Station.

Item #1: Not Ready for Leaves to Fall

I’m still appreciating the beauty of this year’s unusually bright autumn leaves, especially the way they look when the sunlight shines upon them. (Like in the photo I took above when we went apple picking last weekend.) I’m definitely not ready for them to fall off the trees, clog the drains on the streets and leave behind barren, depressing limbs.

Besides, once fall’s over and the leaves are gone, that signals the beginning of The Holidays, otherwise known as the time when I long to go into hibernation. I’m DEFINITELY not ready for them to arrive just yet, despite the catalogs I keep receiving in the mail telling me I’m already behind on my Christmas shopping.

Item #2: ‘Mad Men’ and the 1960s Suburban Mom

Season two of the 1960s drama Mad Men  concludes Sunday night at 10 on AMC and we’ll find out whether slick ad man Don Draper (Jon Hamm) wises up and makes up with his wife Betty (January Jones) – mother of his two children living in a NYC ‘burb – after he repeatedly cheated on her and she finally called him on it.

My money says that the finale will find our man Don back in New York trying to reconcile with his wife, or maybe that’s just the hopeful romantic in me. I also think Betty’s pregnant.

Item #3: ‘Old Christine’ Gets It Right Again

This week’s episode of the Julia Louis-Dreyfus comedy, The New Adventures of Old Christine again made some spot-on observations about parenthood amidst its usual brand of uncomfortable, Larry David-like nuttiness.

The recent episode focused on Christine’s 12-year-old son Ritchie not wanting to say, “I love you” and rebuffing his mom’s hugs. (My 10-year-old son’s already rebuffing my hugs in public.) This turn of events sent Christine over the edge, questioning whether she should have another baby (so someone would willingly hug her for at least a few more years) and wondering whether she should still be sleeping in Ritchie’s bed every night. (Um, no.) Link to the scene that sets up the entire episode here.

Years ago, I wrote a column that somewhat embarrassed The Spouse. It asked one, central question: How do sleep deprived parents of young children enjoy “private time” together? (And those moments at midnight, when you’re both exhausted and about to fall asleep, didn’t count. The key word here is “enjoy.”)

After taking an informal survey of my friends at the time, I learned that many of them had invested in solid bedroom door locks and took advantage of the fact that their kids would be transfixed by the TV, so they kept a variety of videos and DVDs that their kids liked on hand, hoping that the glow of the TV would maintain their children’s interest and keep them away from Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom for a little while, say, 10 minutes. In addition to those suggestions, friends also offered horror stories of getting caught in the act by their children, every parents’ nightmare scenario.

I’ve never really seen that horrifically awkward moment depicted well on TV. Until this past Sunday night, when Desperate Housewives – in the midst of a major creative comeback – had a storyline about Gabby and Carlos Solis being observed by their daughter Juanita, whom they initially told that they’d been wrestling. It was priceless. And funny.

The other parental intrusion scene I’ve seen recently happened on Mad Men – during an episode called “Three Sundays” — when two grade school-aged offspring barged in on their parents, Don and Betty Draper. When asked what they were doing, their father shouted, “Sleeping!”

The link to the Desperate Housewives’ video is here, but DO NOT WATCH it with kids around or when they’re within earshot. Trust me on this.

Worried that the railing-thin young female stars of the newly revamped 90210 are sending the wrong message to impressionable girls, Entertainment Weekly ran a piece quoting unnamed sources who said folks are growing concerned about the actresses’ bodies which were called ”alarmingly thin, with arms that seem thickest at the wrist, and legs that look like, well arms.” The AMC show Mad Men (shout out to the Emmy winner for best drama!) was singled out for promoting a “healthy body image” mostly because of actress Christina Hendricks, who plays a sultry office manager on the program and who EW called “the very definition of sexy.”

While watching the Emmys last night, I was absolutely taken with how Hendricks made actual, feminine curves fashionable. Take a look at the photo of Hendricks in her green dress at last night’s awards show. Amidst the sea of toothpicks, she stood out and, to echo EW, provided a much healthier attitude toward the female form than the anorexic celebs who usually populate red carpets.

So if you have a daughter who starts to covet the figures of one of the new 90210 gals, show her a photo of Hendricks (maybe not this one of the gown with the plunging neckline, but a tasteful one from the show, like this one) and tell her there are other ways to be beautiful.

Better yet, visit the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty web site, be sure to check out the section for moms who are looking to help their daughters cultivate a healthy body image, and direct your daughter to the section just for the girls.

Image credit: AP/Chris Pizzello/Boston Globe.

Note: If you’re a Mad Men fan — and I know you all want to be – be sure to check out my latest Pop Culture and Politics column about the mixed messages we received from the media over the past 10 days about what we want and expect from American career women.

Item #1: ‘Mad Men’ Drawing Reflects My Mood This Week

Mad Men-loving artist Dyna Moe (who has created 25 Mad Men-inspired illustrations) expertly captured not just the frustration of betrayed 1960s housewife Betty Draper, but reflected my mood over the past couple of days, although I haven’t taken my dourness out on the furniture. (If you’re a Mad Men fan, check out the illustrations, particularly the one with Sally Draper serving as her parents’ bartending. Quite cheeky, the lot of ‘em.)

Item #2: Breastfeeding on Film

An Ithaca College professor surveyed has 150 films that included either a depiction or discussion of breastfeeding or a nursing mom and found that most of the depictions or references sexualized the subjects. “American women continue to be harassed and kicked out of restaurants, museums and swimming pools for nursing their babies, despite the overwhelming evidence that breastfeeding is the ideal way to nourish children early in life,” said Professor Sarah Rubenstein-Gillis, who wrote a piece called “Reel Milk” for Mothering Magazine. “Hollywood films illustrate and often validate these mixed messages and moviegoers continue to be informed by them.”

Huffington Post blogger Heather Cabot agreed, saying, “. . . [S]ince the entertainment industry and celebrity culture remain so influential it would seem really constructive for filmmakers to think more about the way they present breastfeeding and to depict it in a way that reflects what it is really all about — the health and well-being of baby and mother.”

(Rubenstein-Gillis also has a Reel Milk blog which lists films which mention breastfeeding.)

Item #3: Care for Breast Milk in Your Soup?

I was perusing the headlines on the Drudge Report and saw a sensational one about a Swiss restaurant which plans to serve dishes that include human breast milk. I felt compelled to mention it here because what’s a “Three for Thursday” blog entry with not one, but two breastfeeding stories? The Telegraph news story quoted the restaurant owner as saying, “We have all been raised on it [breast milk]. Why should we not include it in our diet?” The restauranteur has been advertising for milk donors.

I’ve got nothin’, absolutely nothin’ to add here.

Image credit: Dyna Moe.

I donned my TV critic’s cap and dished with one of the two Manic Mommies about the new fall television season, the national political conventions, the Olympics, Mad Men, 90210, The Office and what I think about the title of the new CBS show, The Mentalist.

You can get directions on how to download/listen to the Manic Mommies podcast here. (It’s a radio show on the internet, for the uninitiated.) Or you can just go to iTunes and download it for free — gotta love the free! – to listen to our sparklingly witty conversation.

Image credit: Manic Mommies.

Fans of AMC’s critically acclaimed early 1960s drama Mad Men have no doubt noticed that folks tended to raise their children a tad bit differently when John F. Kennedy was the president than people do now. Not has a child on Mad Men repeatedly been shown fixing drinks for adults, but parents’ friends have slapped misbehaving youth and a pregnant woman openly drank, smoked and consumed caffeinated coffee, all considered no-no’s for today’s gestating ladies.

The most recent Mad Men episode was chock-full of examples of how much parenting has changed:

By watching the exploits of lead characters Don and Betty Draper and their grade-school-aged kids, Sally and Bobby, viewers saw Betty demand that Don spank their son in order to teach the boy right from wrong, particularly after he’d repeatedly lied to his mother. When Don refused to do so — instead disciplined Bobby by saying, “Mommy says you broke the hi-fi. I believe her. Don’t do it again.” and then telling him to go bed – Betty challenged Don, asking him if he thought he’d be the man he is if his father hadn’t spanked him.

Later in the episode, Don had to take Sally to work with him, where the girl received . . . an education. (See video here.)

But, ironically, the recent Mad Men show also dramatized examples of how parenting hasn’t changed completely, despite the passage of 40 years:

Bobby and Sally walked in on Don and Betty when they were in bed one morning as the parents were at the very beginning of gettin’ busy (Don was on top of Betty, but under the sheets). Don ordered the kids out of the room as they asked what was going on. ”We’re . . . (*pause*) sleeping,” Don said gruffly.

During another fight about Don’s “style” of discipline, Betty told her husband that she was tired of being trapped at home all day, “outnumbered” by the kids, only to have him come home and be “the hero.” (The “hero” thing happens at our house all the time.)

FYI: If you’re a Mad Men fan, please join me every Monday on my Suburban Mom: Notes from the Asylum blog where I discuss the latest episode and all things Draper.

I spend a lot of time complaining on this blog. In earnest.

Thus, as I prepare to attempt the Herculean task that is packing the family’s stuff up for a Cape Cod vacation, I’ve decided to be optimistic in the hopes that my hyper, over-caffeinated mania — which has descended upon me like a storm cloud this past week as I tried to attend to all of my work commitments – would fade and a peaceful, Zen-like calm would sweep over me. So, in the name of naive optimism, here’s a list of my favorite things about summer (leaving my gripes about vicious mosquitoes, youth sports practices encroaching on summer and high gas prices off the list):

1. Lighter Laundry Load. The laundry is easier to wash in the summer – beach towels notwithstanding – because the kids are wearing T-shirts and shorts, meaning more of them can be cleaned in fewer loads.

2. The Smell of Sunscreen. Makes me think of the beach. And I love the beach.

3. Fresh Fruit. The abundance of sweet blueberries, strawberries, nectarines, plums and peaches puts the bitter winter fruit to shame. Plus fresh fruit makes for an easy snack for the kids to get for themselves while I’m toiling away at the computer.

4. Swimming. No matter how maddening the day — balancing deadlines and refereeing sibling spats before they spiral downward into bloodbaths – the moment I hop into the pool, the frustration literally washes away. (It quickly returns by the time we get back to the house, but we’re trying to be positive here!)

5. No School Projects. No scrambling, no last-minute errand running, no nagging worry that you’ve forgotten to remind your kid to study her spelling words and get all of your kids going on their science projects.

6. Powdered Lemonade Mixes. They’re cheap (yeah, they contain sugar, but it’s summertime, so get over yourself). They come in ginormous cans. Plus the kids can mix it up themselves, if you overlook the granules of lemonade mix all over the kitchen.

7. Eating Outside. If you eat out of doors before the evil mosquitoes descend and carry away your youngest child, the inevitable spills and dropped food that accompany any meal with young children won’t tick you off.

8. VACATION! Speaking of vacation . . . I’m going to be bold and take a Picket Fence Post blogging break for a whole week. I’ll be back in the first full week of August to regale you all with all manner fanciful tales of the modern family’s summer vacation, so don’t forget to check in here. In the meantime, watch (or set your DVR for) Mad Men on AMC, second season premieres on Sundays at 10 p.m. Trust me, you won’t be sorry.

Item #1: No ‘Bliss’ for Real Moms

Galt Niederhoffer wants all of you mommies to knock it off with your mommy propaganda, saying stuff like “motherhood is bliss” because, as she says on The Huffington Post, it’s not. In her post entitled, “The Bliss Myth: Cut the Crap Mommies,” Niederhoffer wrote:

“Why not acknowledge that frustration, boredom, guilt and ambivalence are universal, unavoidable facets of motherhood? Sharing will make us better and happier mothers, affording women the comfort of community and the benefit of shared information — the very tools we need to transcend motherhood’s challenges.”

Well, if Niederhoffer had been reading the Picket Fence Post, she would’ve never gotten the misguided notion that parenthood is bliss. Maybe I should e-mail her a few links to places where she can get a reality check on what real, non-blissed-out parenting is like here on Planet Earth.

Item #2: Family Meals Good for Parents Too

Speaking of real parenting . . . Slate’s Emily Bazelton tells us that while we’ve all heard about how absolutely fantastic and grounding it is for children to sit down with their parents for family meals each night — family-meal-eating kids are less likely to get into trouble, are more likely to feel closer to their family, get higher grades, become rocket scientists, etc. – it’s also good for parents too. Bazelton wrote:

“The research by lead author Jenet Jacob of Brigham Young University found that among 1,580 parents who worked at IBM, those who said their jobs interfered less with being home for dinner tended to feel greater personal success, and success in relationships with their spouses and their children. The working parents — both mothers and fathers — had all of these buoyant feelings if they made it home for dinner more regularly, even if they still worked long hours. They also felt more kindly toward their workplace.”

I know I’d certainly feel better if The Spouse were home more often for family meals, then I wouldn’t be the only one to develop a migraine when the kids say they utterly loathe what I’ve made for dinner (there’s always at least one protester per meal), then watch them sulk and, in at least the case of one child, literally throw up all over the kitchen table in order to avoid eating the baked chicken. Good times.

(more…)