Picket Fence Post

Item #1: Scary Movie Previews

Back in July, I blogged about how irritated I was to find, prior to a 1 p.m. mid-week showing of a PG movie about wizards, a movie preview for a PG-13 apocalyptic film about the end of the world and one for an as-yet-unrated film which included examples of close-contact brutal violence. Both trailers terrified my 11-year-olds.

I was even more irritated a few weeks later when I went to see the PG-13 film about Julia Child — to which I’d considered taking my 11-year-old daughter — and was treated to a trailer for a movie about a homicidal stepfather who went after his stepkids with a chainsaw and a knife.

So I called a spokesman for a national chain of movie theaters and asked him to kindly explain to me: Who picks these previews to accompany the feature films, whether the time of day is considered when selecting trailers and if the expected feature film audience is taken into consideration. The result is my November GateHouse News Service column in which I argue that theaters aren’t making wise choices about which trailers they’re choosing to run prior to movies.

Item #2: Baby Einstein Refunds

Perhaps you’ve read the news that the Disney Corporation is offering people who purchased Baby Einstein videos a $15.99 refund each, for up to four DVDs per household (for DVDs purchased between June 5, 2004 through Sept. 5, 2009). Why the refunds? Because the videos aren’t quite as “educational” as the company made them seem, the New York Times reported.

Over on the web site Mommy Tracked — where I’m a contributing columnist — author/columnist Stefanie Wilder-Taylor had a snarkily funny response to the news:

“It made perfect sense to me that I could sit my children in front of a DVD that shows colorful sock puppets moving at a pace slower than my grandma on the interstate highway and expect them to come away a prodigy. The only movement any of my kids produced after watching Baby Mozart was in their Pampers.”

Item #3: The Jig is Up

Remember yesterday when I posted an item about The Eldest Boy having lost three teeth in the span on 15 minutes. Well, as of the morning, I was informed by said child that the jig is up and that he knows “the truth” about not just the Tooth Fairy, but the dude in the red suit. The news filled me with a twinge of nostalgic sadness.

But he forgot to deliver noise canceling headphones for the rest of the family.

And the additional sound proofing insulation for the ceiling above the drum playing area, directly beneath the kitchen floor.

Lucky for all of us who reside in the Picket Fence Post home, The Eldest Boy can keep a beat, albeit a beat that I still feel in my chest long after the drumming has ceased.

Image credit: Squidoo.

Thinking himself very clever, The Youngest Boy wanted to hide his Bakugan (a small plastic ball thing that unfolds into a character) in a place where his two siblings wouldn’t find it.

The metal Santa, whose hollow belly comes apart into two pieces, seemed like the best place to the 7-year-old. This was the same Santa whose head The Eldest Boy, 10, is fond of removing and hiding inside said Santa belly. (I’ve been continually disturbed to find a headless Santa sitting in his designated spot on the narrow, white cabinet in the corner of the bathroom.)

Now, Santa, his head and the Bakugan have all gone missing.

Maybe he’s gone off someplace, like, perhaps, to the land of the misfit toys where he’s conspiring with the CDs, the scoffed pens and pencils and the two dozen pairs of kids’ scissors that have likewise disappeared. It’s doubtful that any interrogation with The Eldest Son will yield any actionable intelligence.

UPDATE: The metal Santa, including his head, has been found, however there was no Bakugan inside his belly. The hunt continues.

Image credit: Amazon.com.

The Picket Fence Post family survived two Thanksgiving dinners this past weekend and managed to fill two squares on the Dysfunctional Family Bingo card . . . though I’m not sayin’ which two because my loving family members read this blog.

*waving, ‘hi’ to family*

The day after Thanksgiving I (at my parents’ house where the kids watched about 47 hours of TV), we attended a Christmas parade featuring giant balloons (Cat-in-the-Hat, Strawberry Shortcake, etc.) and a few street cleaners which were, no lie, part of the procession. The kids’ favorite part, I suspect, was gathering the pieces of candy which were hurled in their general direction by parade participants. Given that two out of the three kids didn’t really eat much at Thanksgiving dinner — unlike their parents who stuffed themselves –they must’ve been hungry.

As soon as the parade concluded, we went inside the mall along the parade route and got in line to visit Santa. Panic ensued when the skeptical Eldest Boy told me, “I’m not going to see him. He’s not the real Santa. I’m going to write [the real] Santa a letter.” And the kid refused to get in line.

I was concerned that his move would taint the experience of his siblings and prompt a crisis of Christmas faith, but The Girl and The Youngest Boy were distracted by the fact that they didn’t know exactly what they want for Christmas (making Christmas shopping vexing!) and didn’t know what to say to the big guy in red. (The Spouse and I suggested that they tell him they’ll send him a letter with a specific request later.)

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