Picket Fence Post

Item #1: Scary Movie Previews

Back in July, I blogged about how irritated I was to find, prior to a 1 p.m. mid-week showing of a PG movie about wizards, a movie preview for a PG-13 apocalyptic film about the end of the world and one for an as-yet-unrated film which included examples of close-contact brutal violence. Both trailers terrified my 11-year-olds.

I was even more irritated a few weeks later when I went to see the PG-13 film about Julia Child — to which I’d considered taking my 11-year-old daughter — and was treated to a trailer for a movie about a homicidal stepfather who went after his stepkids with a chainsaw and a knife.

So I called a spokesman for a national chain of movie theaters and asked him to kindly explain to me: Who picks these previews to accompany the feature films, whether the time of day is considered when selecting trailers and if the expected feature film audience is taken into consideration. The result is my November GateHouse News Service column in which I argue that theaters aren’t making wise choices about which trailers they’re choosing to run prior to movies.

Item #2: Baby Einstein Refunds

Perhaps you’ve read the news that the Disney Corporation is offering people who purchased Baby Einstein videos a $15.99 refund each, for up to four DVDs per household (for DVDs purchased between June 5, 2004 through Sept. 5, 2009). Why the refunds? Because the videos aren’t quite as “educational” as the company made them seem, the New York Times reported.

Over on the web site Mommy Tracked — where I’m a contributing columnist — author/columnist Stefanie Wilder-Taylor had a snarkily funny response to the news:

“It made perfect sense to me that I could sit my children in front of a DVD that shows colorful sock puppets moving at a pace slower than my grandma on the interstate highway and expect them to come away a prodigy. The only movement any of my kids produced after watching Baby Mozart was in their Pampers.”

Item #3: The Jig is Up

Remember yesterday when I posted an item about The Eldest Boy having lost three teeth in the span on 15 minutes. Well, as of the morning, I was informed by said child that the jig is up and that he knows “the truth” about not just the Tooth Fairy, but the dude in the red suit. The news filled me with a twinge of nostalgic sadness.

Dear Tooth Fairy,

We had an unusual 15 minute interval here in the Picket Fence Post household this afternoon. During that time the 11-year-old boy — known as The Oldest Boy — lost, count ‘em, not one, not two, but three molars.

The first one was a casualty to a sticky yellow candy he was eating that he’d gotten from a Halloween party he attended over the weekend. (In the photo you can see the remnants of said candy on one of the teeth.)

The second one was lost when The Oldest Boy was checking to see if other teeth were loose. “Hey, I can get my fingernail under this one,” he said, seconds before he held out his hand with another bloody molar sitting in his palm.

When he called his father to tell him about losing two molars, he put his dad on speakerphone and continued checking his remaining baby teeth for looseness. Out popped another one. (Isn’t he supposed to lose teeth AFTER Halloween because of all that candy?)

“Is he okay?” my husband asked, alarmed that his son lost so many teeth so quickly, concerned he was becoming the human equivalent of a Bumble after Hermey, the wanna-be dentist did his work. And the kid hadn’t even been playing hockey at the time.

So I’m writing to you, kind Tooth Fairy, to remind you that when you come here tonight — please don’t forget like you did last time! — bring cash. And lots of it.

Sincerely,

Meredith

For the second time in as many years, the Tooth Fairy neglected to visit our home last night after a child in our house lost a baby tooth.

The last time this happened, The Spouse and I suggested that perhaps the Tooth Fairy had too many homes to visit and that she’d likely arrive the following night. The Tooth Fairy made up for her lapse by leaving $2 instead of the single dollar she usually leaves in exchange for a child’s tooth.

This morning, we told The Youngest Boy that because he lost his tooth after dinner last night, perhaps he was placed at the end of the Tooth Fairy’s client list and that she just couldn’t get here in time. Must’ve been a busy day for pediatric tooth loss. Hopefully, we told him, the Tooth Fairy will get her act together and show up tonight.

Any more time that I have to spend watching our 7-year-old walk around holding his tooth and looking sad — as he did for a half-hour before school this morning – will just break my heart.

UPDATE: The Tooth Fairy finally made it to our house last night to pick up the lost tooth and drop off $2.