Picket Fence Post

Item #1: Anxious Kids

Do you have a child who seems tentative, bothered or frightened by new things? Are you worried that the child will grow up to be an anxious adult?

The recent New York Times Magazine cover story about anxiety said that some people are born worriers. While many nervous children are able to successfully channel their nervous energy productively as they grow older, others deftly cover up the anxiety roiling beneath the surface. “. . . [W]hile temperament persists, the behavior associated with it doesn’t always,” the Times reported. It’s a long piece, but if you have a child who you think might be considered “anxious,” it’s worth the read.

Item #2: Mommy Penalty

If you’re a woman and you have a kid, there’s a good chance that in the workplace you may suffer from what researchers have dubbed, “the mommy penalty.” The Boston CBS affiliate, WBZ ran a segment this week based on a Cornell University study which found that “mothers suffer a substantial wage penalty” while “. . . [m]en were not penalized for, and sometimes benefited from, being a parent,” the study reported.

What kind of penalty? Five percent less pay per child than a childless woman receives, WBZ reported:

“A recent ruling handed down by the First Circuit of Appeals in Boston, could have an impact on the way working mothers are treated. The case involves a mother from Maine who says she was denied a promotion and told ‘You have the kids, and you just have enough on your plate right now.’

The ruling stated, ‘. . . the assumption that a woman will do her job less well due to her personal family obligations is a form of sex stereotyping . . . and that adverse job actions on that basis constitute sex discrimination.”

Here’s the link to the video segment.

Item #3: The Puppy Cut

I finally relented and agreed to bring the puppy to get his hair trimmed. I’d been fretting that the groomers would make him look like a rat if his hair were trimmed too closely, that he’d lose his fluffy cuteness. But he doesn’t look like a rat. Other than the fact that you can now see that his legs aren’t as stocky as they appeared when his hair was longer, he looks pretty much the same. Look at the “before” photo followed by the “after” photo:

Item #1: Slutty Halloween Costumes

From the moment the first catalogue for Halloween costumes arrived in my mailbox, I noticed that something seemed off, more so than in previous years. As The Youngest Boy leafed through it and circled a half-dozen costumes he was considering for Halloween, I couldn’t help but notice that a large proportion of the costumes for the girls beyond their toddler years, were sexed up, with the girls wearing obvious make-up and striking mature poses to make them look older, much more so than the boyish looking boys. I opined about this phenomenon in my October GateHouse News Service column.

Item #2: Fall TV Premieres

In the midst of the TV networks unveiling their slate of season premieres, I visited with the Manic Mommies and did a podcast with them where we dished about fall TV.  Shows we discussed included: Mad Men, Grey’s Anatomy, The Good Wife, Cougar Town, Glee and Parks & Recreation. You can download their podcast for free at iTunes or through other means. Go here for info on how to listen to the Manic Mommies online.

Item #3: Law-Breaker Moms

Three instances of states/municipalities trying to enforce over-the-top rules and regulations when it comes to the care of children:

How many of us have relied upon our fellow parents to help us watch our kids from time to time? How many have watched other people’s kids as a favor? Well if you lived in Michigan and you didn’t have a daycare license, you’d be a lawbreaker, according to media reports. Here’s the scoop from the local TV station, WZZM:

“Lisa Snyder, of Middleville says her neighborhood school bus stop is right in front of her home. It arrives after her neighbors need to be at work, so she watches three of their children for 15-40 minutes until the bus comes.

The Department of Human Services received a complaint that Snyder was operating an illegal child care home. DHS contacted Snyder and told her to get licensed, stop watching her neighbors’ kids or face consequences.”

In addition to Michigan criminalizing unlicensed ”it takes a village to raise a child” parents helping parents, folks who actually do run licensed daycare centers out of their Massachusetts homes were met with a host of new regulations by the state’s Board of Early Education and Care which will now consider daycare providers ”educators.” According to the Boston Herald, new regulations will mandate that daycare providers to do regular progress reports on children in their care which track “the cognitive, social, emotional, language, motor and life skills developments of infants and preschoolers,” brush the teeth of any kids there longer than fours hours and creative a an educational curriculum which demonstrates that daycare providers are offering “planned learning experiences.”

Meanwhile, a New York mother is being threatened by officials in Saratoga Springs because she and her 12-year-old son have been riding their bikes to his middle school. Riding or walking to school, according to the Times-Union, is banned — yes BANNED — by the school, at the same time we’re reading non-stop about the epidemic of fat kids who get little to no exercise:  “The Jackson street residents pedal more than four miles together each way to the middle school on nice days, despite being told not to by school officials and police.”

So, let me get this straight: You can’t watch your neighbor’s kids without getting a daycare license. If you get a daycare license, you have to become an “educator” and create curricula and conduct progress reports on babies. And if you’re trying to teach your kid about the joys of riding a bike to school, you’re told by the school and an awaiting state trooper that you’re breaking the school’s regulations and that you’ve got to plop your behind into a parent’s car or a bus seat.

Is it any wonder that parents feel under siege from governmental buddinskis?

Item #1: Acupressure

I took  The Girl to visit a medical acupuncturist today. Instead of using the acupuncture needles, he used acupressure — pressure applied to the acupuncture points sans a needle – and other techniques, like cupping . . . which was a good thing, given how apprehensive the 10-year-old was. I did the best that I could to calm her and soothe her worries. The staff put in a great effort to try to alleviate her fears by talking to her and affording her the chance to feel the hair-thin, flexible needle so she’d see that they weren’t some metal behemoths waiting to be jammed into her arms and legs. But every time a staff member left the room, The Girl’s eyes filled with tears and she told me she wanted to leave. NOW!

For those who’ve been following this saga, The Girl has had persistent ankle problems since January 2008 when she first twisted it during a basketball practice. Since then, she’s missed half of several seasons of soccer and hoop because of flare-ups. This spring we finally saw a youth sports specialist in Boston who recommended water therapy (which she’s been doing for a few weeks), TENS therapy (we just got the unit this week) and acupuncture.

The Girl had been dreading this acupuncture appointment ever since the orthopaedist first mentioned it. For weeks she’s told me there was no way that she was going to let anyone put the acupuncture needles into her, no matter how thin they were.

So, did the alternative techniques the doctor used today work? We’ll have to wait and see. (*fingers crossed*)

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Every year it’s the same. In the days surrounding Mother’s Day, the media start producing all manner of stories and news segments about moms, their work (paid and unpaid) and their value, on many levels.

A group called Salary.com has, for several years, been releasing an estimate of the dollar value of the work done by at-home moms for free. The way they figure it is that they estimate how much it would cost to outsource the tasks done by the at-home parents, everything from child care, cooking, housecleaning, laundry, transportation, etc.

 This year’s figure for the average at-home mom is $122,732. For the average mom with a paid job outside the home — EXCLUDING her salary — Salary.com said the unpaid work she does for her family is worth an average of $76,185 a year.

NBC’s Nightly News even ran a segment this week about the worth of a mother’s work, calling it “Mom Inc.:”