When I was 6, I killed my sea monkeys, by accident. I fed them too much. I remember standing in the bathroom in our Norton home as we said our final goodbyes before we flushed them to the afterlife. It was near Christmas and I was petrified that I’d made it on the naughty list.

In third grade, I was standing in line as our teacher was leading us to gym class. On either side of the hallway, there were first-graders sitting against the wall waiting for art class to begin. Their teacher was conducting a math quiz. I was smart. After all, I was a third-grader, so naturally when the teacher asked what 2 + 2 was I held up four fingers. My teacher was not impressed that I was showing off and supplying the answers. In fact, I got scolded. Again, this happened in December.

Speaking of cheating….

In kindergarten, I was stuck on the word pin. How do you spell it? Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye…there it was, P-I-N, neatly spelled out on Jenny’s paper. I copied it. Surprise…happened in December.

Why do these rare/unusual/atypical behavioral mishaps remain so vivid even into adulthood? They were a matter of life and death back then.

It makes me wonder, though. How committed am I to staying on the nice list now? I’d even propose that it’s harder to do as an adult.

There’s the stress of the holidays; the gift buying; the busy schedules that could make any sane person head straight to naughty-ville. Well, as my first act of niceness (today), I’m offering you some help:

In our Advice section, read some quick stressbuster tips to help you remain nice.

In on Features section, find a review of some fantastic toys that will delight your children and make shopping much less of a chore. An added bonus: All of the products are from local toy stores so you’ll be supporting your community.

In our Family Fun section, we’ll help you plan the ultimate family bonding experience. After all, the true essence of the season is spending time together.

Naughty or nice? You decide.

Happy holidays from all of us at P&K,

Heather

Check out the Topsfield Fair going on through Oct. 12. Daily events for the family!

Me with fellow judes: Miss Hampton Beach is Kristen Crossland from Seabrook NH and George Knight from WKLB & Radio 92.9

Last year's winners. They presented the Jr. King and Queen with crowns during the ceremony.

And the winners are: Standing with Mrs. Essex County (LuAnn Bonanno) The Jr. Queen is Meaghan Shea, 5, from Salisbury. The Jr. King is Lee Dalzell, 8, from Rowley. The Jr. Queen Runner-up is Lana Crosson, 5, from Topsfield. The Jr. King Runner-up is Brendon Spencer, 5, from Byfield.

I'm the only girl without a crown

- Heather

I brought my daughter to camp today.  I think she considered it more like a visit to say a hospital or a dentist or a horror film. Yesterday, she loved it. Today not so much. For a 4-year-old, she knows how to lay on the guilt…thick. She whined, yelled and voiced her every emotion very loudly.

I listened. I repeated her concerns. I talked about the fun she had yesterday. I gave her something to look forward to tomorrow. I carried her to the classroom, sat on the floor and met her friends, addressed the teacher and gave her sad, little face a kiss goodbye.

That was an hour ago. I still have a lump in my throat. For all I know, she could be smiling, dancing and playing with the cute girls she sat with earlier.

At least I hope she is.

I just came from a dentist appointment with my 6-year-old son. I hate to admit it…but he had a cavity that needed to be filled. Much like me, he doesn’t care for pain, especially in form of the outrageously large Novocain needles. When I tell you, that I lost sleep over this procedure for weeks leading up to the appointment, I’m not exaggerating.

I called the dentist office to hear a step-by-step description of the procedure and I googled “cavities and children” to find out what methods are most safe. I woke up with a stomachache, which went nicely with the super, fake smile plastered on my face as to not alert my offspring that anything too horrible was coming.

I’m an honest mom. I don’t like to surprise my kids. I’m a talker. I played this one a little close the chest, though. Sort of nonchalant.

Flash forward a few hours and he’s mounted in the dentist chair. He doesn’t mind the gel used to numb his gums. He doesn’t even flinch when they inject the needle. In fact, he dismisses me from the room saying, “I can do it alone.”

My point here is simple. Parents tend to worry way more than their kids do. (Repeat as necessary to yourself). I worried about his first day of preschool – he was a little shy but in the end, he made a wonderful new friend that he still plays with. I worried about kindergarten – he had a few bumps to start out with, I doubted the teacher, the bus driver, and the entire kitchen staff – now he can’t wait to return to school in late August.

I could tell you to stop worrying but c’mon, that phrase is a bit useless when it comes to parenting. I will direct you to some of the great advice you can find in this issue of P&K like:

An academic year outlook

Ask the teacher

Ask the psychologist

And I’ll also encourage you to just believe (and breathe). Believe in your child and believe in yourself. Oh, and the brave smile works wonders too.

Happy school year,

Heather

I severely doubt that he whined when his kindergarten teachers asked him a math question or asked him to recite a few lines in a book. Man, that drives me crazy!

Despite this initial resistance, my son has enjoyed his Super Why activity sheets for the past few days. I love it because it’s a no-brainer for me. My kids watch a 30-minute episode of Super Why and then we have some fun with the activity sheets I download directly from from the PBS web site.  Suddenly I have a 45-minute lesson plan. This is especially important to me during the summer months when I don’t want to have my children’s brains turn to mush! (Read for background)

If you’re not familiar with the four Super Why characters, let me provide a quick overview.

Alpha Pig has “Alphabet Power,” Wonder Red has “Word Power,” Princess Presto has “Spelling Power,” Super Why has the “Power to Read.” As the creator of this show shared, they look at the storyline as a scaffolding of sorts - start with the basic reading literacy stuff (letters) and gradually implement skills that lead to reading.

Our show of focus is “The Three Little Pigs,” but the PBS site has activity examples for  Super Why episodes 101 - 124.

Day 1 activities focused on Alpha Pig - my 6-year-old son easily plowed through these and my 4-year-old daughter did quite well.We played a game of bingo to reinforce letter recognition and colored in the alphabet in another activity.

As an author of a siblings book, part of this experiment also discover if siblings can take part in this program together. I did have to set some ground rules. For instance: this is not a race; you are not allowed to shout out “This is too easy/hard”; take pride in your work and HAVE FUN. So far, I’d rate this PBS learning with TV experiment a success in the siblings department.

Day 2 was all about Wonder Red. The activity sheets directly corrolate with the Super Why episode we are watching so there is some familiarity as we tackle each sheet. In this one, they had to work with the sound “all” and how that sound changes when you add letters in front of it: “ball”, “tall”

This proved a little more challenging for my daughter but she was easily distracted by the fact we were dealing with her favorite female character from the series.

Next, we’re all about Princess Pesto. Stay tuned.

Mention TV and there’s hushed voices revealing some guilt on behalf of the parent who uses it - on occasion - as a “babysitter.” Consider yesterday. I watched four children - ages 4 - 6 - all day (two of my own, two nephews) and the TV went on around 5 p.m. so I could make dinner. Do I feel guilty? A little. On average, my kids watch the tube for about an hour or so a day…sometimes more.  There I said it.

I’ve hesitated to cover “TV” in the pages of P&K because I think there is a sort of “stigma” associated with kids - especially the little ones - and TV viewing. Somehow, I thought the story “Must See TV for Toddlers” would rub a few people the wrong way. It turns out, I may be wrong.

Earlier this week, I was  invited to the PBS/WGBH studios in Boston for a behind the scenes look at their production process.

I grew up watching PBS shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. I can intuitively trust that when I flip on PBS I know any show will probably be OK. (No fear of the occasional “bad” word like “stupid” or “shut up” that other cartoons sometimes have riddled throughout a show.) Today, there’s plenty of PBS shows to choose from like WordGirl, Martha Speaks, Arthur and my beloved Curious George.

I need to make sure to tell you that the producers and staff at PBS get that TV gets a bad name in parenting circles. They addressed this quickly and quite well by reminding those assembled that its the parents privilege (obligation) to gauge their children’s viewing habits. It’s whatever we feel most comfortable with. Agreed. Although, I was eager to learn how to take the guilt out of it.

My TV strategy thus far was to let the kids kind of lead the way with their program choice. I ABSOLUTELY cancel out any ideas that aren’t for their age group (like Spiderman 3!)

But could they/do they actually learn something by watching TV?

I’m about to find out.

On to my experiment.

Watch an episode of SUPER WHY once a day and complete activities supplied by PBS. Does their letter recognition improve? Can they identify words? Can they read a story?

SUPER WHY is a breakthrough preschool series designed to help kids ages 3 to 6 with the critical skills that they need to learn to read (and love to read!) as recommended by the National Reading Panel (alphabet skills, word families, spelling, comprehension and vocabulary).

All SUPER WHY episodes are evaluated by a team of researchers led by Alice Wilder, Ed.D. The team includes a reading teacher and a reading researcher. In reviewing the episodes, the team makes recommendations in the following areas: appeal, attention, comprehension, interactivity, game play and literacy element adjustments.

The process of producing a single episode is extensive to say the least. They test it in the market three times before giving a thumbs up to move forward.

My task is before me and I plan to report on my findings in the days to come!

I’m a firm believer that the people you grew up with (your siblings) have a strong influence on who you become later in life. Part of that theory includes the sequence of how each member of the family popped out of the womb.  Do any of these descriptions match your own children? Below are  some quick tips on bringing out the best in your children (as it relates to birth order)

First, people tend to read birth order traits as a horoscope of sorts but other facts play a role like spacing, gender, physical make up and family circumstances.

As a side note, twins are an interesting mix of competitor and companion. The first born often takes the assertive role and the second born follows along. In a family constellation, twins are bound to cause pressures, especially on any kids born after them.

Only children tend to take on first born traits.

Traits

First born: perfectionist, reliable, list maker, well-organized – put lots of pressure on themselves

Used to being the only child for a period of time; strives to keep or regain parents’ attention through conformity and if that fails, chooses to misbehave

52 percent of U.S. presidents are first borns

Middle child: fewest pictures in the family photo album, avoids conflict, independent, seeks “family” outside of the traditional family – in other words, tends to have a lot of friends.

Never got parent’s full attention or resources, acts like they are in a race to catch up with the older sibling

Youngest child: charming, people person, precocious, sense of humor, likes to please and provoke

Behaves like an only child and expects other to do things and take responsibility

Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift are last borns

Making it work

Making the firstborn birth order work

Since they tend to be people pleasers,  teach them to say no and know their limits

Since they tend to take things to seriously, show them the funny side of life. Be silly!

Since they tend to be involved in too many things, role model and show them how to take time for themselves and relax

Making the second born birth order work

Since they tend to have great people skills, nurture that quality and create an environment that is social

Since they tend to feel like they are living in a shadow, celebrate their uniqueness and don’t compare them to their siblings

Since they tend to feel like they are living in a shadow, allow them to take the lead. Middle children often make excellent leaders.

Making the last born birth order work

Since they tend to be “baby-ed”, give them some responsibility. Too often they are denied that privelage

Since they love attention, teach them about sharing the limelight and playing well with others

For more on siblings, visit www.busysiblings.com.

- Heather

I called the dentist office to hear a step-by-step description of the procedure and I googled “cavities and children” to find out what methods are most safe. I woke up with a stomachache, which went nicely with the super, fake smile plastered on my face as to not alert my offspring that anything too horrible was coming.

I’m an honest mom. I don’t like to surprise my kids. I’m a talker. I played this one a little close the chest, though. Sort of nonchalant.

Flash forward a few hours and he’s mounted in the dentist chair. He doesn’t mind the gel used to numb his gums. He doesn’t even flinch when they inject the needle. In fact, he dismisses me from the room saying, “I can do it alone.”

He never ceases to amaze me.

My point is, a visit to the dentist may cause more anxiety for the parent than the child. I found some great information, resources at the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry that may help some fellow parents.

Another wonderful local resource is Dr. Mel of Framingham. He once told me that he’s answered any and all tooth-related questions imaginable.  You can find a recent Q&A here. Feel free to send a question (parentsandkids@cnc.com)  to me as well and I’ll Dr. Mel to lend his sound advice!

Granted my kids now think that Daddy works at a place that offers face painting, balloon animals and hot dogs for lunch every day but they also got to have front seats during an important conference call and see some of the security devices their dad works to promote in the PR department. At the tender ages of 4 & 6, I think it was the perfect introduction to work life and answers to the question: What does Dad do all day?

Apparently, it’s a popular event - now in its 10th year, there were about 300 kids in attendance.

I think more companies should follow suit. I remember my dad taking us to his corporate office. He had  cool job. He was head of HR for a McDonald’s franchise. He used to bring home buckets of Happy Meal toys. He also hooked us up with gift certificates to share with our college buddies. It was like pure gold. Their office also hosted plenty of family events - like the annual holiday party and we went to his office all the time. I liked seeing what dad did. He was a busy man and was away from home a lot. These little glimpses into his work life, I think, gave me an incredible work ethic.

And if I thought my dad worked a lot back then, work has become even more consuming for my generation. Technology allowing for constant contact makes leaving the office very difficult.  Our children are young , 4 & 6, so they can’t grasp entirely what their dad does for a living but they know he enjoys it, he’s good at it and he works at a pretty cool place.